I had to bring Herself for a hospital checkup on Wednesday.

Nothing fancy – they just wanted to see if they had fucked up her eyesight [they hadn’t] so it should have been a quick visit.

As it transpired, we we in there ages and as a result got stuck in the rush-hour traffic jam on the way home.  Spent ages just sitting parked on the motorway in the middle of nowhere.  As a consequence, I was fucking knackered and fit for nothing when we finally got home.

I decided on a quiet day yesterday to recuperate.  The intention was to sit dozing and doing sweet fuck all.

Then I remembered I had to bring Penny to the horse doctor.

I brought her over and the only thing that's wrong with her is that she's fat.  I knew that.  She's a lazy bitch.  But when I was leaving I thought I'd run the old car through the car wash.  The car lately has been looking like it was in the Trans-Sahara Rally as it was covered in a very fine pale dust.  It is actually pollen from a pine tree near where I park the car in the front garden.  Messy stuff and it gets everywhere.  The car wash removed some of it but turned the rest into a green slime.

While I was at the car wash I thought I would pump the tyres.  I discovered when I went to check the spare that my leak-proofing hadn't worked and the boot was half full of water again.  Fuck!

On the way home, decided to get a couple of things in the village.  I discovered it was one of those days when everyone I knew seemed to be wandering around at a loose end and dying for a chat.  Another hour or so gone, catching up on the local salatious gossip which is an essential part of country life.

Of course I was fucked by the time I got home, but as a consequence of the car wash, my car was now covered in a sticky green slime.  I had to get out the bucket and bail out the boot and then scrub the car.  I also reseated the rear light cluster and packed it with grease to try to stop the fucking leak.  Removing the slime wasn't easy either.

So by tea time, I was fucked, bollixed and knackered and fit for sweet bugger all.  And all as a consequence of bringing the bitch to the quack [I’ll let you work out whether I’m referring to yesterday or Wednesday].

So now you know why I didn't scribble anything yesterday.

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Consequences — 6 Comments

  1. Sorry for your troubles – hope you are feeling better today! And where is the nice weather you promised us??!!


    • Still knackered – spent the afternoon hacking back the grass verges and hedging.  One of the rare penalties of rural life.

      I didn't promise you good weather.  I promised myself good weather.  Anyway I haven't left yet so there is plenty time for a high to move in.  😉

        • You're stuck in the same low as us, for the next day or two anyway.

          And your email address gives a very small clue as to your location! 😉

  2. At least you didn't have to take Penny to get 'er eyes checked.  That would've been another traffic jam.  🙂

    • Her eyesight is so damned good she can see things that aren't actually there.  She's forever chasing imaginary cats out of the garden!

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