I had to bring Herself for a hospital checkup on Wednesday.
Nothing fancy – they just wanted to see if they had fucked up her eyesight [they hadn’t] so it should have been a quick visit.
As it transpired, we we in there ages and as a result got stuck in the rush-hour traffic jam on the way home. Spent ages just sitting parked on the motorway in the middle of nowhere. As a consequence, I was fucking knackered and fit for nothing when we finally got home.
I decided on a quiet day yesterday to recuperate. The intention was to sit dozing and doing sweet fuck all.
Then I remembered I had to bring Penny to the horse doctor.
I brought her over and the only thing that's wrong with her is that she's fat. I knew that. She's a lazy bitch. But when I was leaving I thought I'd run the old car through the car wash. The car lately has been looking like it was in the Trans-Sahara Rally as it was covered in a very fine pale dust. It is actually pollen from a pine tree near where I park the car in the front garden. Messy stuff and it gets everywhere. The car wash removed some of it but turned the rest into a green slime.
While I was at the car wash I thought I would pump the tyres. I discovered when I went to check the spare that my leak-proofing hadn't worked and the boot was half full of water again. Fuck!
On the way home, decided to get a couple of things in the village. I discovered it was one of those days when everyone I knew seemed to be wandering around at a loose end and dying for a chat. Another hour or so gone, catching up on the local salatious gossip which is an essential part of country life.
Of course I was fucked by the time I got home, but as a consequence of the car wash, my car was now covered in a sticky green slime. I had to get out the bucket and bail out the boot and then scrub the car. I also reseated the rear light cluster and packed it with grease to try to stop the fucking leak. Removing the slime wasn't easy either.
So by tea time, I was fucked, bollixed and knackered and fit for sweet bugger all. And all as a consequence of bringing the bitch to the quack [I’ll let you work out whether I’m referring to yesterday or Wednesday].
So now you know why I didn't scribble anything yesterday.