Could someone please tell me what a smartphone is?
Is it a phone made by a company called Smart?
Or is it a phone that can answer calls and hold conversations without bothering its owner?
I ask because apparently 50% of people in Ireland now use one, and I am wondering if I am one of them. Herself has a phone and so do I so statistically one of us must have a smartphone? Whatever these smartphones are, apparently there are 1.6 million of the things lying around.
There are also 1.4 million tablets.
I am more at home here as I know what a tablet is, and I can also tell you that I own a few. I keep them in a little box with a compartment for each day of the week so I know which ones to take and when. Now that’s smart? I can also assure you that none of them are remotely diamond shaped before you start on the wise cracks.
Apparently there is an average of four devices that connect to the internet in every Irish home. Now this worries me. Has my fridge got its own Facebook page? Does my bedside clock use Twitter? It’s no fucking wonder my phone bills are so high. I actually find that very hard to believe, that four devices connect to the Interweb. I mean, in this house there is only my laptop which I have to connect, otherwise I would find it hard to publish this crap every day. Then, Herself has a laptop that she uses to waffle on Facebook. The television has to be connected so that I can try to access some decent films, and the XBox is connected but that’s only because I use it to stream music files from a box in the junk-room. I suppose you could argue that my phone connects to the Interweb, but I never use that feature. Why should I? Of course the radio gets all its channels from the Interweb, but that’s all. Four devices? Nah! I don’t believe it.
There is one enormous glimmer of hope for Irish society however. 28% of those surveyed claiming that they are getting tired of social media channels such as Facebook and Twitter. The only thing that puzzles me is why it took them so long, and why only 28%?
On the other side of the coin, 70% of 16 to 24 year olds now prefer to text than call. That comes as no surprise whatsoever. That nicely confirms that we are breeding a generation of illiterates with the conversational skills of a fucking cabbage.
TK 2 U L8R.