Me:  Howya God!

God: Howya Grandad.

Me:  It’s been a while?

God:  Has it?  I wouldn’t know as time means nothing to me.

Me:  I have a wee question.

God:  Shoot.

Me:  Does it bother you at all if I don’t believe in you?

God:  Not in the slightest.  There are plenty who do.

Me:  I once heard a vicious rumour that any time someone stops believing in you, you consign a cute fluffy kitten to the fires of Hell.

God:  Indeed I do. 

Me:  Aren’t you supposed to be an all loving God?  That doesn’t exactly fit in with chucking cute fluffy kittens into the fire?

God: I’m all loving all right, but  I just don’t like kittens.

Me:   so if I start believing in you again, you will save a cute fluffy kitten from The Eternal Flame?

God:  No chance.  Once those fuckers go in, they stay in.

Me:  What happens if you stop believing in me?

Bright flash.  Loud bang.

Disembodied voice: OY!

Bright flash loud bang.

Me:  That wasn’t funny.

God:  Wasn’t it?  I thought it was.

Me:  that’s the trouble with you – you never play fair.  You can never resist pulling one of your fancy stunts.

God:  I have the power.  It would be a shame not to use it.

Me:  And you wonder why I don’t stop for a chat too often………..

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The cute kitten gets it — 9 Comments

  1. That’s what you get for trying to talk to something that knows everything, reminds me of the personal ad in my local paper, Encyclapedia Britannica for sale – reason for sale, got married, wife knows everything.

  2. GD, While you have the Almighty’s ear, would you ask his to solve the Global Economic mess.
    He’s the only one who can.

  3. Patrick – I know.  It’s bloody annoying.

    Slab – I suppose it shouldn’t be necessary to ask him as he already knows what I am about to ask.  And i think i would know if it was one of those hideous dolls.

  4. Maybe their satire is a bit over the top, but it’s not far from some of the Tea Party stuff!

    Your God, Grandad, would be far too liberal for them; though the fluffy kitten stuff is to be commended.

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