I received an e-mail from a virtual friend this morning. I know he’s a virtual friend because it was a virtual e-mail.

He has been looking for a job and has just landed one which is good news. And he is very happy about it, which is even better news.

In the e-mail he sent me, he included a link to the new employer. I followed the link and found the web site. It’s a nice site, but I didn’t understand much because it is all technical stuff. But I did notice at the bottom of the page that they are offering free wallpaper.

Our spare bedroom needs redecorating soon, so an offer of free wallpaper was too good to miss. I followed the instructions on the web site and everything seemed to work. There was nowhere where they asked how many rolls I wanted, but in this strange hi-tech world, maybe they knew from some database somewhere.

But the wallpaper never arrived. All that happened is that that lovely photograph of a French sunset that I used to have on my computer screen has gone, and it has been replaced by a calendar for April 2004. Very weird.

As I said, this is a modern technical company, so they wouldn’t be silly enough to give away free out of date calendars, so it must be April 2004 there. I knew there was a time difference between here and America, but I didn’t think it was that much. Maybe I should write to my virtual friend and let him know what is in store for him for the next three years and two months?

In the meantime, I have to go looking for my French sunset.

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Wallpaper and time travel — 12 Comments

  1. i’ve been offered an amount of viagra (at only $1.50 each!) that would give Ron Jeremy himself a heart attack. of course i applied for the stimulants but they never arrived.

    there truly is no such thing as a free viagra.

  2. Oh yes there is. I’ve been ordering for years on the Net. All these nice people keep writing to me offering to send me Viagara and Cialis and telling me I have won billions on various lotteries [I’m going to apply for the latter when the pension fund runs low].

    So I have warehouses full of the stuff if you need them.

    I don’t


  3. I keep getting all these offers for pills that will make Mr. Happy grow bigger!!
    My question is…. How did they know???

  4. lol Monique

    @ Sean: so do i. And i’m quite happy without one.

    is this a comment on your sexual orientation lol

    LOL sorry if this offended anyone but it struck me as a good burn lol

    And Grand dad tell me if it went to far so i can guess the limits of your blog

  5. Do blogs have limits? As far as I know it doesn’t reach North Korea?

    My blog rules are:

    I can say anything I like, and if you are offended; tough. It’s my blog.

    You can say anything you like provided no one else is offended. Use your judgement. Otherwise you will be shot.

    Unsolicited e-mails may be deleted, unless prior notification is given [by e-mail].

    Spam is welcome, provided it’s funny.

  6. I just get a bit offended with the email I get offering me a penis enlargement. Hard to enlarge what isn’t there . . .what I really need is waist shrinkage!

  7. Sorry, Baino. I can do a certain amount about what appears on this site, but there is sweet f*ck all I can do about spam. Unless of course it gets so irritating I have to nuke the country involved.

    Likewise, I get stuff that offends me. Do I really want to see Jennifer Anniston having sex? Do I really want to see young virgins peeing? There are some very strange people out there.

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