Grandad unplugged
I am sort of late on line today.
Well, actually I was on briefly earlier but only long enough to read the news sites and to realise there was sweet fuck all going on.
Bickering and in-fighting between O'Bama, Trump and Clinton doesn't count as news – it's more of a cartoon show.
The only thing that caught my eye was that "15 million people in the UK have done a 'digital detox'".
Oh sweet fuck!
It doesn't really surprise me though. "Detox" is a favourite word with the Selfie Generation so I suppose it may as well go digital as well as everything else?
Of course the little darlings have to be on-line all the time. They have to see what their Farcebook "friends" are up to, and tweet about what they are doing every second. And they never know when that all important email might arrive? The Interweb is so all important that they must be connected every moment whether they are supposed to be at work, on a bus, or eating out in a posh restaurant. It is vital to their existence, surpassing even oxygen.
I saw a survey somewhere recently. It was about a pub somewhere that had blocked Interweb access, and readers were asked for their opinions. The comments said it all. Shock and horror! The babysitter might have an emergency was the biggest excuse [don’t pubs have house-phones any more?]. Others said in all seriousness that they might miss a vital email [since when has an email in the evening become vital?]. Yet others said they had to keep in touch with their friends [and what exactly are they going to the pub for?].
I bring my phone when I go out. Yes – my phone. I use it in case I'm going to be late home or want someone to post bail or whatever, but I never ever connect to the Interwebs. It's expensive and it can damn well wait until I get home or until the next morning or whatever. On holidays, I connect maybe once or twice but that is purely to keep an eye on the bank account. Everything else can wait.
So I did my little stint this morning and then ignored the Interweb. I was trying out a spot of programming so I was using my laptop all right but anything outside the four walls was of no interest.
Strangely enough, I didn't miss a single email. Nor did I miss a single news item. The world did not end, and the three stooges O'Bama, Trump and Clinton are still bickering. In fact I missed absolutely nothing.
Detox my arse.
I don't use a phone. There is a landline for emergencies and utilities but it needs unboxing. Online is the preferred communication method. Strangely, the utilities companies do not like this. They don't wish to speak with me, directing attention to their website but when I direct them to my email, this does not seem to find favour.
God be with the days whe they asked you for your address. Now they want name, address, phone number, mobile number and email address. Soon they'll be looking for your Farcebook profile, Twitter account and all the other poxy "social media" sites. They only seem to want them for spamming purposes.
One thing that pisses me off is business websites that have a contact form but no email address. I like to keep records of all my correspondence [comes in handy during court cases].
James, could it be their phones don't go "ring.ring" but "k'ching, k'ching"?
Grandad,
Another chance to repeat, again, an extremely old line:
“The Internet was broken last night so I spent time with the family. They seem like nice people.”
Herself only talks to me via Farcebook these days.
If they have to "detox" doesn't that mean that they've realised what they're doing is toxic. That is, to normal family life as we once knew it when we interacted face to face and not via some electronic guizmo and we could pay attention to one another and our surroundings? Maybe some of them are waking up in which case there's a glimmer of hope! Or it could just be a prelude for a new reality TV show…
Awaiting news of further developments in the eir v Grandad match!!! 😀
Detox is one of the buzzwords that the little darlings use a lot these days. I doubt if any of them realise what it precisely means. You don't abstain from using the Interweb – you "Interweb detox". Maybe there will be a few less stepping out under buses during their detox period?
eir? Watch this space.
There may be a benefit to this so called "digital detox" thing if you think about it. Those that have "detoxified" themselves might stop walking into walls, tripping over curbs, and dropping down into the sewer access holes where the access cover has been removed? Of course, this also removes some of the entertainment factor from our lives but there's plenty more non-detoxed smart phone zombies walking around with their chins permanently attached to their upper chest to keep us amused.