Testing times
Well that’s the final hurdle of the current batch cleared.
I had to report for the car test this morning at an ungodly hour. Isn’t it strange that any process which involves screwing Joe Public for a few bob is deemed an “essential service” and not subject to lockdowns?
I hate the car test. I don’t know why as I have never suffered the indignity of a fail. Thinking back on it, I think it’s the old exam nerves rearing their ugly head. It doesn’t matter that you know every question in advance but you still have that feeling that the examiner will have a hangover or has just had a blazing row with the wife/boss and is itching for revenge on some unfortunate stranger.
The test is a bit of a torture in itself. In the old days I used to wander around outside enjoying a pipefull, but they changed things so I have to wait in what can only be termed a viewing gallery. This is a wall of glass, the other side of which is a vast hangar with several car lanes. Each car is driven to the first check where they plug cables into the engine, pipes up the exhaust and yokes in front of the lights. Then they drive forward onto the rollers where the wheels are spun while the car remains stationary. Next it’s a bit of strange driving where they veer off their lane and reverse back onto it. Finally they drive onto a hydraulic lift and poke around under the car. It’s a bit like watching in detail as a surgeon operates on your child’s heart. Unnerving.
While I was undergoing this ignominious process others were being called to get their results for everyone to hear. One poor woman was nearly in tears as they read out a long list of failing features. Her child had just died on the operating table under her worried gaze. At least I didn’t suffer that fate – passed as expected.
My next item is to put myself to test. It’s only when driving on the motorway I realise how long it is since my last proper eye test. The last time was a couple or three years ago when they discovered I was on my way to cataracts. I have had loads of sessions since with specialists but they’re only concerned with pressures and things. It’s the lenses need a seeing to as everything has a slight haze to it.
So now I have to see my way to booking that.
You have decades of motorway driving before needing to worry.
I knew a man down in Laois who stopped using the M7 at the age of 94. "Do you know," he said, "I was at those motorway signs before I could see them."
My driving doesn't worry me too much. I can easily see well enough for that. The bigger concern is from headaches if I read or do too much laptop. I can feel my eyes straining.
I am glad online lessons ended today. I have been using a Mac at school and at the end of each day it has been a good half hour before my eyes have been properly able to focus.
A Mac? I hope you washed your hands afterwards. Its only redeeming feature is that it hasn't anything to do with Micro$oft.
I’ve given away the driving now.
Giving up driving would be a massive loss. Over the last couple of years I have had to make multiple hospital visits, none of which would be an easy journey using public transport, involving multiple changes of bus routes or trains. And I just couldn't afford taxis.
Worried about being able to see if you can safely drive? Drop a line to 10 Downing Street and ask if they can give you Dominic Cummings address. He could possibly give you some advice.
I missed that bit of news. So a driving test consists of driving somewhere. If you don't hit something then your eyesight is fine? That is sound logic all right.
Car tests have changed a lot. I took my first car, a clapped out old Morris Minor and the guy rocked the driver’s seat quite a way side to side. He still passed the car because as he said, the seat had to be firmly attached to the floor. It was, but the floor panel was completely rusted out! Good times.
There was one time I brought my Escort in, possibly for its first test since the law was introduced. The tester gloomily announced that one of my headlights wasn't working and that the test was a fail. I thumped the headlight and it came on. 'That's grand' says he and gave the pass certificate. Good times indeed.
What's the problem? Everything DOES have a slight haze to it …… always has!
Have you been on the jar again?
How do mean "again"?
When everything has a slight haze all the time. Do you see clearly if you sober up?
Jesus!! Why the hell would I sober up????
Good man yourself. You had me worried there for a moment.
As I have said in the past – I was only drunk once in my life…. from 1972 to 2010,