Well that’s the final hurdle of the current batch cleared.
I had to report for the car test this morning at an ungodly hour. Isn’t it strange that any process which involves screwing Joe Public for a few bob is deemed an “essential service” and not subject to lockdowns?
I hate the car test. I don’t know why as I have never suffered the indignity of a fail. Thinking back on it, I think it’s the old exam nerves rearing their ugly head. It doesn’t matter that you know every question in advance but you still have that feeling that the examiner will have a hangover or has just had a blazing row with the wife/boss and is itching for revenge on some unfortunate stranger.
The test is a bit of a torture in itself. In the old days I used to wander around outside enjoying a pipefull, but they changed things so I have to wait in what can only be termed a viewing gallery. This is a wall of glass, the other side of which is a vast hangar with several car lanes. Each car is driven to the first check where they plug cables into the engine, pipes up the exhaust and yokes in front of the lights. Then they drive forward onto the rollers where the wheels are spun while the car remains stationary. Next it’s a bit of strange driving where they veer off their lane and reverse back onto it. Finally they drive onto a hydraulic lift and poke around under the car. It’s a bit like watching in detail as a surgeon operates on your child’s heart. Unnerving.
While I was undergoing this ignominious process others were being called to get their results for everyone to hear. One poor woman was nearly in tears as they read out a long list of failing features. Her child had just died on the operating table under her worried gaze. At least I didn’t suffer that fate – passed as expected.
My next item is to put myself to test. It’s only when driving on the motorway I realise how long it is since my last proper eye test. The last time was a couple or three years ago when they discovered I was on my way to cataracts. I have had loads of sessions since with specialists but they’re only concerned with pressures and things. It’s the lenses need a seeing to as everything has a slight haze to it.
So now I have to see my way to booking that.