I really am a romantic at heart
Herself has been bitching for a long time about our washing machine and our tumble dryer.
Both of them work, but the washing machine doesn’t spin any more. And the tumble dryer stops every now and then because the door is warped and it thinks the door is open when it isn’t.
And the tumble dryer is in the garage and steams everything up when it works.
So yesterday I bought one of those newfangled combination machines that washes and spins and tumbles and it doesn’t make any steam because it takes care of all of that.
In the good old days, my mother used to fire up the gas boiler. It was a huge tank of a yoke with a gas ring underneath and you dumped all your washing in it and let it boil for a while. It used to scare the hell out of me.
And then, everything had to be taken out and put through the mangle before going out on the clothes line.
Ah! The old ways are the best!
We couldn’t really afford the new machine, but it cost less than a bunch of roses and hopefully will last a bit longer.
Last night a strange thing happened. I got a phone call from someone who reckoned they owed me money! I didn’t know they owed it and they didn’t know they owed it, but their accountant said that they did, so they rang me and asked if I wanted it. What was really strange is that the amount they owed was exactly the same amount I paid for the new gadget. Talk about Karma!
So I have just put my back out [again] removing the old washing machine. It is sitting in a puddle in the middle of the kitchen. And I’m waiting for the new yoke to arrive.
So you can keep your old bunches of roses and your cute teddy bears and your enormous Valentines cards. They’ll all be dead or thrown out in a weeks time. Give her a washing machine every time.
I’m leaving the price tag on it, as it’s my birthday soon. And she needs to know the price range to spend on me.
So, not only am I a romantic; I’m practical too.
on the off chance that grandmar chucks you out after getting the “present” my sister has decided she is in love with you………. ahhhhhhhhhhh
So by that logic, the perfect gift for a first date is a food processor. So buying woman dinner doesn’t work; they need appliances!
@Flirty – when you say “grandmar” to you mean Herself, or Grannymar? Two different people, but both in my fan club. Tell your sister that Herself is delighted with her present, but that needn’t stop her [your sister] writing to me. But it can’t go any further than that. I’m an old married man, you know. 😉
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@Dario – You’re getting it. A food processor and an invite around to your place to cook you a meal. No point in having a girlfriend who can’t even boil an egg. I know! I have to boil the eggs here, but Herself makes a mean slice of toast.
Herself has told me to write this –
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She says that she does not observe Valentine’s Day. She will not be told when to be romantic. However, she cordially invites Flirtysomething’s sister to join Grandad and Herself in the hot tub and we’ll just see what pops up.
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Now she did tell me to write that. She dictated it. I swear to God. I’m as surprised as anyone.
I hope y’all made sure to send politically correct valentine’s messages this year.
I’m not bailing anyone out of prison this time around.
BTW, Mrs Skinner’s getting naff all for peeing off to the black North and leaving me here on my own with mouldy vegetables, uninterrupted net access and the remote control for company this Valentine’s day.
Hold on, what am I thinking?
Best VD ever!
JC – If I were you I wouldn’t go shouting about VD. It might put the women off. And Mrs Skinner is going to know you’ve been up to naughty things.
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Unless of course you are referring to Valentine’s Day?