We have so called “speed ramps” in the village.
I have no problem with them. Basically they installed a higher layer of road at the two main intersections, so there is a gentle bump as you drive over them. Seeing as only a complete twat would take those junctions at speed, they nicely sort out the complete twats from the rest of us who slow down anyway.
I mentioned I was going into Skobieville yesterday. The trip was actually painless in that traffic was light. But then I turned onto the road by the park which is the logical route for Skobieville North. That road by the park is a killer. It starts off with a wee hump in the middle of the junction as a sort of traffic island. No sweat. Then you enter the road itself.
The first thing you hit is a speed bump which is a gentle rise and fall over an inch or two. This hump is easy to traverse and its sole function is to lull you into a sense of security. You see the next hump a couple of yards further on. It looks like the first hump. It isn’t.
I don’t quite know how they did it, but they designed a hump that looks innocent but you hit it with a bone shattering bang that all but bottoms out the suspension. Anything loose in the car becomes weightless for an instant before crashing back and adding to the cacophony of protests from the chassis and the cloud of obscenities from the driver.
The bastards in the council have been quite clever here. They have mixed the numerous ramps on the road [which is quite long and straight] so you have no idea if you are going to experience a gentle lift or a bone shattering, teeth smashing bastard. Even worse, the road is long and they have installed the hump mix over virtually the entire length. I lost count of them but they seem to go on for ever.
I hate that road but the alternative involves a tricky junction which is hazardous to say the least [and also involves ramps]. I would be tempted to sue the council for damage to the suspension but their defense would be that damage could only be caused by speed. As far as those ramps are concerned, anything over 5 mph would constitute speed.
It’s just another reason I try to avoid going into Skobieville.