Losing things is just part of life these days.

Most of the time this is caused by absentmindedness. I have something in my hand. I go to do something, and whatever was in my hand gets placed somewhere while I do whatever has to be done. I then later realise that whatever was in my hand is now vanished and could be anywhere in the Manor.

The item most lost according to general myth is car keys. Not so in this abode. The car keys are always either in the car, in the lawnmower or in their usual place. The only time they are lost is when I have forgotten I have mowed the lawn.

The most popular lost items in this place are my pipe and my lighter. They regularly go missing because I have placed them somewhere without thinking. If I wander into Herself’s room with a lost look in my eye she will automatically assume I have lost my pipe. Most of the time she’s right. Occasionally though it’s my lighter. Neither is that important though as I have emergency lighters and a grand collection of pipes.

This morning I lost my phone. This is a rare occasion as it is usually by my bed, in my pocket or by my chair. And if it isn’t in any of those places I have of course the obvious way of finding it – I phone it from the landline.

This morning I searched everywhere. I know I had it when I woke up as I received a call. But now it was gone. I searched everywhere and in exasperation I phoned it. Something strange happened. I could hear a very faint vibration somewhere in the kitchen/sunroom but it was too faint to detect a direction. Then of course it went to voicemail and I lost even the very faint buzzing. Fuck!

I mentally replayed everything I had done that morning which was tricky as most things are done automatically without any conscious awareness. Bugger! I decided to leave my search for later.

Later happened, and in a moment of idle thought I remembered I had changed my clothes this morning. No. That was impossible. There is no way I would do that. But I did.

I had put my phone in the washing machine!

I had put it on top of the pile of clothes as I brought them out of the bedroom and then just absentmindedly fucked the lot into the machine. It was no wonder I couldn’t hear it ringing as it was buried deep inside a pile of clothes inside a closed washing machine

I suppose it’s lucky I had absentmindedly forgotten to switch on the machine?