Minesweeper
Remember that little game that was bundled with Windows 3.1?
I used to play it in idle moments in the office. Though I say so myself, I was brilliant! I held the office record for clearing the large version in somewhere under ten seconds.
Nowadays I have to deal with real and far more deadly mines.
Penny was very adept at laying her little minefields inside the gate, on the path to the front door and also on the path to the back door. I would clear them off and disarm them with a simple swing of a 9-iron. I was quite good at that though the neighbours sometimes complained at the quantity of turds flying over the fence.
Old age has arrived and Penny has become somewhat forgetful. So now I have to deal with landmines indoors.
Initially it would just be one or two mines. They could crop up anywhere, from my bed through to any floor in the house. Strangely she has never dropped one in her own bed. I had to develop a new method of clearing these little deposits as practicing golf indoors would just lead to shite all over the walls like some kind of dirty protest. Instead I developed a technique of folding a sheet or two of kitchen paper, picking up the little nasties and then doing a slingshot out the back door. I getting really good at that too.
Lately she has developed a couple of new techniques. One is laying cluster bombs, four or five small ones scattered in a line and the other is dropping Napalm [I can only assume that’s what the puddles/lakes are]. The latter can only be dealt with using copious layers of kitchen paper. We’re doing a great turnover in rolls of kitchen paper.
The main problem is that I can no longer wander the house in bare feet. I have to wear footwear at all times and walk while visually scanning the floor in front of me. At night this means bringing a torch which I swing from side to side like radar as I walk. Even then she has caught me a couple of times. The Napalm is the worst as it’s almost invisible and I have nearly had a couple of nasty falls slipping in her latest flood.
I don’t blame her. I don’t think she even realises she is laying mines as she shows no reaction when dropping them. I know she knows about the puddles as she has to squat for them. But she has forgotten that in polite society that dogs go outdoors to do their business.
Old age is a bugger.
Our Terrier (Charlie the wonder mut.) will leave us a present occasionally. The blame is on us, as this only happens when we are gone from home longer than we planned.
The strange thing about Penny is that she seems totally unaware that her rear end is squeezing one out. I can always tell when it happens as the base of her tail goes vertical while the rest of the tail droops. It looks like a shepherd’s crook. Weird.
Absolutely. Like snake on an old nokia or tetris. So simple, yet so damned addictive!
I don’t know how many hours I wasted on Minesweeper. I think I read somewhere that Microsof introduced it to familiarise us plebs how to use the mouse buttons.
Linux comes with literally hundreds of games. I don’t play any of them except the occasional game of cards.
A 9 iron is a good choice as you get both lift and distance if you hit the bomb correctly. Much better than using a wedge which could cause a rain of “bomb’ all over one’s self if your swing is even a slightest bit off.
I’ve has many pets over the years, both cats and dogs, and it’s a hard thing when they get old. Still, you take care of them especially if it’s a dog.
A 9 iron is my weapon of choice. I tried a driver but that just causes the turd to explode. A 9 iron gives a good loftiness to the shot and is most likely to blear the fences and hedges.