My wealthy deposit
I received a letter today.
Oh, the excitement! Someone loves me enough to write to me.
But it was from my old bank. Not exciting at all. Never mind.
It was a statement from an account which is now closed. I had to pay off €30, and the only way I could find to pay that off was with Giro at the local post office. That was fine. I paid in cash, but just for the devilment I threw in a 5c coin I had in my pocket. In other words I paid a total of €30.05 off my debt of €30. I am now five cents in credit.
The statement this morning told me I was fine. I didn’t have to pay anything off and that I had 5c to spend if I want.
I’ll leave it there. In fact I’d have a problem trying to take it out as the account is closed. But the bank now owe me 5c when they finally close their books and leave. In a logical, human world they would just forget about such a small amount and would assume I’d do the same. But we live in a computerised world where 5 is not zero so something has to be done. Programmes work in absolutes so 5c is as important to a computer as €5,000.00. The account cannot be dismissed all the time there is something in it.
I shall just sit back now to see what happens. Will they write and inform me they are binning my vast deposit? Or will I receive a nice printed cheque for my investment of five cents? I hope it’s the latter as it will cost them more to write the cheque than the cheque is worth.
I hope it’s the latter. Naturally I won’t cash it.
I shall frame it as a testament to computer programmes..
I had something similar – a credit card company said that they were closing my account as I hadn’t used it for so long. Then I had a refund of £2.60 on it. For the last fifteen years they’ve been sending me a paper statement every month…..
I did something similar. About 20 years ago I opened a savings account, online, with the bank I had my current account with. A few years later I switched current accounts to another bank and I tried to close the savings account, also online. I wasn’t allowed to. I tried to withdraw the full balance but I wasn’t allowed to do that either. To close the account or withdraw the full balance I had to go to an actual building and do it in person. I worked out that I could withdraw all but £1 online so I did that. At minimum wage, £1 is about 10 minutes, it would cost me more to go to the bank to collect my £1 than my time is worth.
The bank sends me updates every year and occasionally letters to tell me about changes to their terms and conditions. It must have cost them well over £1 just because their computer system is shit.
Did you see the story carried by various outlets about the man who was sent a bill for 2 p by the Department of Work and Pensions?