I received a letter today.

Oh, the excitement! Someone loves me enough to write to me.

But it was from my old bank. Not exciting at all. Never mind.

It was a statement from an account which is now closed. I had to pay off €30, and the only way I could find to pay that off was with Giro at the local post office. That was fine. I paid in cash, but just for the devilment I threw in a 5c coin I had in my pocket. In other words I paid a total of €30.05 off my debt of €30. I am now five cents in credit.

The statement this morning told me I was fine. I didn’t have to pay anything off and that I had 5c to spend if I want.

I’ll leave it there. In fact I’d have a problem trying to take it out as the account is closed. But the bank now owe me 5c when they finally close their books and leave. In a logical, human world they would just forget about such a small amount and would assume I’d do the same. But we live in a computerised world where 5 is not zero so something has to be done. Programmes work in absolutes so 5c is as important to a computer as €5,000.00. The account cannot be dismissed all the time there is something in it.

I shall just sit back now to see what happens. Will they write and inform me they are binning my vast deposit? Or will I receive a nice printed cheque for my investment of five cents? I hope it’s the latter as it will cost them more to write the cheque than the cheque is worth.

I hope it’s the latter. Naturally I won’t cash it.

I shall frame it as a testament to computer programmes..