Peace be with you
So Ireland is the third most peaceful place on the planet?
What the hell does that mean?
I have been trying to get my head around this startling nugget of information, but frankly I’m stumped. Is it because we don’t go shooting each other like the Americans? Have we stopped mugging tourists in Dublin? Have all the drug gangs finally exterminated each other?
I notice that the top three – Iceland, New Zealand and Ireland – all have one thing in common: we’re all islands. Is this something to do with it? Are we so remote that rowdy people just ignore us and keep away? But then Switzerland is up there and they couldn’t be less of an island if they tried. Austria has a pretty dry coastline too. So being an Island maybe helps a bit but not much.
Is it because we have the only navy on earth where they go home for dinner? Is it because our air force is only used for flying over Dublin on ceremonial occasions? We do have an army all right but most of them are abroad trying to stop other armies fighting.
What exactly do they mean by “peaceful”? Is it the sound of the Skylark and the lapping of the waves on the shore? Are we all sitting around tinkling wind-chimes chanting mantras? Does it mean happiness? Are we the third happiest too? I doubt that.
No. I’m lost.
I’ll spark up another doobie and contemplate the meaning of it all.
You can’t walk down a street in Antarctica without being accosted by a mugger or some drunk shouting at you.
And those penguins are vicious. I’ve seen Wallace and Gromitt.
Never trust a Penguin. They turned really nasty just because a chocolate bar used their name.
Comforting news: we’re coming to Co Donegal this weekend for a wedding, so we should be free of fighting.
8o)
Donegal is a dangerous spot. It’s infested with Daniel O’Donnell clones who ambush you and sing at you. Be warned.
An Irish wedding is always fraught.
There is always some old family feud.
Why does the groom look so much like his father’s brother?
What ever you do sit near the bar and the exit door.
New Zealand a peaceful place? Ask the inhabitants of Auckland who are in the middle of gang wars, with reports of shootings every day.
The latest took place outside a school when the children were in class. As always the Government response is to make life more awkward for legitimate gun owners and ignore the gang element.
It’s much the same in Dublin. Maybe gang deaths aren’t counted?