Wanking bankers — 7 Comments

  1. Sounds like if you owe these fokkers anything substantial a convenient one way tramp across the bogs or a paddle out to sea is in order.
    Oh by the way, have you met my long lost twin brother, newly returned from Orstaaliah. G’die blue. Oi hear thet me lorng lost bruvver doid.

  2. When we had a holiday place in France we opened a local bank account to pay the bills. It was amazing, local branches in most towns with real helpful people who sorted every question or problem on the spot, sitting down not standing at a counter shouting through glass. Even opening the account took just one visit – we called in to enquire and it was all done in under half an hour and the cheque book and debit card was ready in a few days and you got your own personal local account supervisor who you could contact by phone or email. It was like UK banking in the 1960s but with even better facilities. You could do it all on their website if you were out of town or in the UK but didn’t have to! I hope they are still as good.

  3. I went into my bank yesterday and told them I needed something done. Straight away they were on to me “have you tried the machine” “I think you can do this online, through the machine”. I knew damn well I couldn’t as I had to go into the branch the previous time I did this as well. I explained this, they wouldn’t listen. I stood there finnicking with their stupid robot overlord machine they bought from NCR like a bloody eejit just to humor them. It didn’t work just as I had told them.

    Then it was time for them to close and I had to go in again this morning, they had to it by hand just like I told them at the start. Why are these phuqqers so eager to get you to use the robot? Do they think that once they have the last person converted to using the machine for everything Mr. Bank owner has a sunlounger reserved for them in Barbados and they can spend the rest of their days sunning themselves beside him without having to work?

    • I had a very similar experience when opening my new account. I asked about a cheque book. “You can order one of those in the machine out in the lobby”. I guessed that if he had to order one it would have involved some actual physical work. He was a real wanker but has since [been] moved on to destinations unknown.

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