Further to yesterday’s little ramble….
I decided to buy
a Christmas Tree a fir tree today.
The first problem is that the place that sells the one I wanted, or should I say Herself wanted, is up in the heart of the mountains and of course has no address. It’s just a farm that the postman knows well so it doesn’t need an address.
I did manage to find their Eircode, which is like a Zip or Postcode. Using Google Earth I found the exact location of the place and had to memorise the location so I could pop it into my SatNav. The latter is supremely helpful as it doesn’t recognise Eircodes or any address that doesn’t start with a number, so often a certain amount of guesswork is required.
I sat into the car and started the engine. I then had to wait until the SatNav booted up. The car has an irritating “feature” that starting the engine causes the SatNav to reboot so I have to programme it when the engine is running. I flicked around the map and found the approximate location of the farm. Off I went.
The first problem was that the SatNav wanted me to leave the house and drive further up the mountains. I ignored it and headed for the motorway. It got the hint and refreshed its route.
Then I discovered that the sun was in my eyes and the roads were damp which meant a lovely glare in my eyes.
Eventually I turned off the motorway [using a junction I never would have found without the SatNav and with the glare] and headed west. It brought me through a couple of junctions and then directed me up a road which I was sure wasn’t the one I had seen on Google Earth. Never mind. I carried on.
After a few miles of tortuous narrow roads that were barely big enough to take the car I suddenly found myself outside the farm. The SatNav had brought me in a grand circle so I had approached the place from the wrong side. Never mind. I drove in.
I bought the tree. I nice little one about four foot high that nicely fitted in the boot of the car. I told the SatNav to bring me home.
It directed me back the way I had come. Soon I was on narrow little roads again but the scenery was fantastic. Unfortunately the sun was still in my eyes which was strange as I was driving home in the opposite direction. I would have photographed the scenery only there was nowhere to stop the car. Never mind. I carried on.
I got home. Herself is delighted with the tree. We can bring it in year after year, she declared. No we can’t, I replied. Why not, says she. Because trees fucking grow and it will be too big by next year. She hadn’t thought of that. We can plant it on the cat’s grave, she suggested. No we can’t, I replied. Why not, says she. Because then when the tree grows we won’t be able to get out of the fucking house. I knew we shouldn’t have planted the cat just outside the back door.
It always pays to think things through?