The bloke came to look at the roof this morning.
I’ll call him Rufus, as I can never remember people’s names so I tend to rename them in a fashion I can remember.
Anyhows, within a couple of minutes I knew he was a real builder. How? Because he pointed out a load of problems I had overlooked. Aha! you say, but isn’t that the mark of a typical cowboy? Well, yes except the problems Rufus found are genuine problems. As the son of a civil engineer with experience of the building business it’s very hard to bullshit me.
So the existing sarcophagus has to be removed in its entirety, but also a bit of work needs to be done to the chimney it’s attached to. Also the television mast has to come down which isn’t a problem as it’s no longer used anyway. Though I did point out that the mast straps were probably holding the chimney together.
He is dead worried about my request to have a top opening lid. He wants to put in a side door for access but I pointed out [quite reasonably, I thought] that all work on the tank/ballcock/valves has to be accessed from above and not the side. We reached a compromise – he’s going to do it my way. That’s the kind of compromise I like.
So he has gone now with a pocket full of measurements and muttering about lead flashing. He has to work out a price. I just know it is going to be fucking expensive. Luckily I have a rainy day fund, as when that roof leaks it does indeed rain [indoors].
So why the title about skiing?
It’s because I’ll be Spending the Kids’ Inheritance, of course.
Another way to look at it is that you’re safeguarding the kids’ inheritance by ensuring that the Manor is not entirely derelict when they eventually attain ownership via your post-mortem estate – unless, of course, you’ve already bequeathed the Manor away to your favourite commenter . . . . in which case, please take care of my profligate retirement fund.
That’s not a bad idea – I could auction off the role of benefactor. Highest bidder gets the lot [after I’ve buggered off, of course].
I had to laugh at the strap holding the chimney together. I have had situations such as this.
Rather than auction it off; leave it to a local government agency on two conditions.
(1) They make a park out of it and erect a statue of your family on the spot where the house once stood.
(2) No park visitor will be allowed to wear a mask within the bounds of the park.
You knew that he was a real builder… I thought that was going to be followed by a butt crack reference.