There are two sources of power that are essential in this house.
The first of course is a means by which I light my pipe.
The second essential is a means to boil water for my mug of tea.
Without either [or both] life becomes unsustainable. Forget all that crap about the climate causing the world to explode, or burn up, or whatever horror vision they’re running at the moment: life without tea and a pipe is a far more serious, very real and imminent danger.
This morning my pipe lighter failed. Now this is a real emergency [compared with the hypothetical “emergencies” over at Cop26]. My day without a puff of the pipe is unimaginable. I could always bum a light off Herself but I don”t want to be annoying her for a light all the time.
I set to work on my collection. I have considerably more lighters than pipes [and that’s really saying something]. These are lighters that I have collected over the years and for one reason or another have died. A lot of them have been cannibalized for spare parts to fix other lighters but some just don’t work for various mysterious reasons. Anyways, I finally found one that sparked up but only after I had inserted my last remaining flint [I must buy more…]. That lighter contains parts from at least three other lighters.
I have also ordered a new one after a fight with a web site – it kept declining my card and I had to order by phone in the end.
So with one disaster averted I turned to addressing an impending one – power cuts!
Last week we apparently came within an ace of power outages when three of our power stations went off line at the same time. They only told us after the event but seemingly it was a close call. No power = no kettle = no tea. Unthinkable.
I have ordered myself a new two-burner gas stove to replace the fifty year old one.
So within the boundaries of The Manor the future is relatively bullet proof.
I wonder if it’s blank proof?