How to avert the ultimate catastrophe
There are two sources of power that are essential in this house.
The first of course is a means by which I light my pipe.
The second essential is a means to boil water for my mug of tea.
Without either [or both] life becomes unsustainable. Forget all that crap about the climate causing the world to explode, or burn up, or whatever horror vision they’re running at the moment: life without tea and a pipe is a far more serious, very real and imminent danger.
This morning my pipe lighter failed. Now this is a real emergency [compared with the hypothetical “emergencies” over at Cop26]. My day without a puff of the pipe is unimaginable. I could always bum a light off Herself but I don”t want to be annoying her for a light all the time.
I set to work on my collection. I have considerably more lighters than pipes [and that’s really saying something]. These are lighters that I have collected over the years and for one reason or another have died. A lot of them have been cannibalized for spare parts to fix other lighters but some just don’t work for various mysterious reasons. Anyways, I finally found one that sparked up but only after I had inserted my last remaining flint [I must buy more…]. That lighter contains parts from at least three other lighters.
I have also ordered a new one after a fight with a web site – it kept declining my card and I had to order by phone in the end.
So with one disaster averted I turned to addressing an impending one – power cuts!
Last week we apparently came within an ace of power outages when three of our power stations went off line at the same time. They only told us after the event but seemingly it was a close call. No power = no kettle = no tea. Unthinkable.
I have ordered myself a new two-burner gas stove to replace the fifty year old one.
So within the boundaries of The Manor the future is relatively bullet proof.
I wonder if it’s blank proof?
Sounds like you are what I refer to as lighter poor. I’m the same with pipe tobacco.
A few years ago here in the good old USA the FDA decided they should be involved in the oversight of pipe tobacco production. With the restrictions they had in mind I knew a number of the blends I bought regularly were going to be no more. I was getting all the overtime I wanted at work so about 25% the OT check went to stockpiling tobacco. My son, also a pipe smoker looks upon this stash as his inheritance.
That is impressive and a sure sign of dedication. I take my hat off to you.
I appreciate that Sir. Now if I could only get the chief cook and bottle washer to see things that way.
She will ask occasionally why I have need of so many pipes. (A damned fool question if I ever heard one.) I counter by asking if we should check the coat closet and count handbags. At that point we move on to another topic.
So you like to live life dangerously?!
During WWII my dad, an enthusiastic pipe-smoker, placed a standing order with his local tobacconist for 8oz of St Bruno to be mailed weekly to his army location via the Forces Postal Service. That tobacco schedule followed him across Egypt and North Africa, through Sicily and Italy, then across to France on D-Day and all the way through to Germany – in fact, when he was demobbed in early 1946, packs of tobacco kept arriving at his home address each week for six-months afterwards.
Some fool once said “an army marches on its stomach” – more like on its tobacco-pouch, I suggest.
All I can say is fair play to the tobacconist! In those days they recognised the importance of baccy. Sadly that’s now confined to the history books.
Problem is my new Gas cooker requires an electricity supply so the hobs can be lit. (= flame failure device)
Welcome Michael! I haven’t heard of that one before. It actually has to be plugged into the mains? Though I suppose my central heating [Kerosene[ relies on the mains too..
Usually the FFD doesn’t need power, only the ignitor. Light it with a match and chances are the FFD will still work properly.
Yes you are right about the FFD, sorry my mistake.
BUT, if I light it with a match the burner lights but then goes out as soon as I release the knob. It only stays on if the mains are restored while holding the knob in :- Hotpoint dual oven gas cooker. If the burner is lit with the mains on and the mains then goes off, burner remains alight.
I think what Michael refers to is the same gadget that’s called “proof of fire” on a pellet stove which does require power. On the pellet stove this is what keeps the pellets from overflowing the firepot rather than burning if the ignitor isn’t working properly.
No, pellet stove needs power to feed the pellets. FFD needs no power, just the heat from a flame