The power of big corporations
I laid my hands on a timetable.
This is the timetable for us poor plebs, telling us when we can and when we cannot enter our own village.
Disney are going to shut the entire village for a total of seven days next month. We will graciously be allowed enter but must be out again before seven in the morning. A fat lot of fucking use that is as all the shops won’t have opened. We will however be allowed back in after ten in the evening which is nice of them.
Rather strangely, Doc shall remain open for the period despite his entrance almost being part of City Hall, or Princess Castle or whatever the fuck it is. I suppose they can’t order a doctor to close in the current climate, but they just prevent anyone from entering. He’ll have to be in his surgery before seven and won’t be allowed out again for fifteen hours, waiting for patients who can’t turn up. I hope he has a good stock of books. Maybe if I have a dire medical emergency I can always dress up as one of the Seven Dwarves [Sneezy?] and sneak in?
The local Gardaí will be out in force to enforce as it were. This in itself is a bit of a tourist attraction as normally we don’t see a uniform from one end of the year to the other. It would nearly be worth while to nip down to photograph them as a memento of the time we had Law and Order.
One little thing struck me about this whole circus though.
The weather in this country is what might be termed fickle. Some might even say unpredictable [certainly the weather forecasters invariably get it wrong]. For example it’s quite nice out there today with blue skies and fluffy white clouds. Yesterday we had hail storms and thunder. This time tomorrow we’ll be having gales with storm force gusts and Friday is going to be a total washout. Batten down the hatches and man the boats.
So what are Disney going to do about our inclement climate? If it’s pissing rain [or even snowing – stranger things have happened hereabouts] what are they going to do in their closed down village? Hold umbrellas over the actors? Rewrite the whole film to make the gale force winds part of the plot? Shut down the village for a further week or two in the hopes of better weather?
They really have no choice but to film on their chosen dates.
I can only assume that Disney have signed a contract with God to guarantee fine weather.
Yes it's easy to see where it is.
Some of the local shop owners seem to be loving it?
Maybe you can get paid as a pipe smoking extra?
“Submissions for non-descript roles will be accepted for all performers, regardless of age, sex, ethnicity, disability, race, color, national origin, sexual orientation or gender identity or any other basis prohibited by law, subject to legitimate casting objectives.”
They don't mention smoking status …
That's the spot. I have no intention though of saying where I live though. I don't want hoards of autograph hunters hanging around my gate or taking "selfies" in front of The Manor.
I'm just back from there. Got myself a few takeaway meals from Ian. He does brilliant curries and bean stews.
A few years ago we had some film sorts in our village. Whatever until they started blocking the pavement and road and told me I couldn't drive down my road.cos they were filming. I could have turned around and taken an alternative route that wasn't much longer, but no chance. Sat pressing the horn until they moved (took maybe 5 mins). Every time we went past after the horn was pressed by both me and the neighbours. They were gone in 2 days never to return.
We are sort of used to these occasional disruptions. The village has appeared in numerous films and advertisements which has one advantage – all the shops are regularly repainted [once for the film and a second time to restore its previous pristine splendour]. I remember a college lecturer once asking me why our telephone box was red. They had forgotten to repaint it.
Can't you apply for a job "as you have always wanted to work in Legoland"?
You probably won't be chosen, but if enough of your villagers do the same, it should mightily p*ss off Mickey' s mentors.
Who on earth said I wanted to live in Legoland? Cloud Cuckoo Land maybe but I was never a particular fan of Lego particularly after once stepping on a piece in bare feet.
I imagine the village will just hunker down for the period and leave it to Disney and all the gawkers down from Dublin.
I can always dress up as one of the Seven Dwarves [Grumpy?] and sneak in?
Fixed that for you sir. (you are most welcome.)
I wonder–if you had some old clothes tucked away somewhere that looked like they would fit in with all this Disney-fying plus your most Middle Earth-ish looking pipe, you might be able to stand around smoking said pipe in the middle of filming and they'd just think you were one of the extras?
As to weather, the Disney people will just extend the shutdown period. It's what movie people do I suppose.