So they are back to worrying about The Drink.
Our beloved brethren in ASH recently announced on the Twitter machine:
“It should worry us all that liver cancer rates have risen over the last few decades in Scotland.”
I have a few things that worry me. Not as many as I used to have but nevertheless I have little responsibilities and concerns. Now I am meant to worry about people in Scotland too? I am expected to shoulder the responsibility of the entire Scottish Nation? Why? Give me one good reason why I should be concerned about anyone’s liver apart from my own.
I suppose that if you spend your entire waking hours trying to meddle with the way people live their lives then the Scots might be a little concerning. In a world of non-smoking, non-drinking, slim, tofu munching, athletic people, the idea of someone actually enjoying themselves and living a different lifestyle must be a worry and maybe something must be done.
Meanwhile here in Ireland we have a slightly different tack on the subject.
The pubs here have been shut for well over a year now. Where else are the little bleeders supposed to drink? If anything they should be glad as parents can keep an eye on the rugrats as they polish off their cans of cider and supermarket lager. It’s a lot better than having the little sods get pissed in the woods down the road?
Of course one problem is that the little bastards will raid their parents’ drinks stash. But that is always a problem. I remember watering down the spirit bottles when I was a nipper. I considered I was doing the parents a favour by diluting their drinks thereby keeping them more sober and giving myself a little supply of good stuff at the same time. When I became a parent I quickly learned if my whiskey had been doctored as I knew all the tricks.
The simple answer is to keep the bottles in a locked cupboard. That’ll stop the home-drinking habits of your darling little fruits of your loins?
The Scots can sort out their own problems.
It’s fuck all to do with me.