Cutting down the Beech has had an unfortunate side effect.
The back of the house is a hell of a lot brighter now even though trees aren’t in leaf yet. The sunlight is now pure and not dappled. The rooms are shining brightly and so is the dirt on the windows.
I haven’t cleaned the windows in a while as they tend to stay relatively clean. I say relatively as back in the Dark Ages when I lived in the suburbs the windows had to be cleaned on a very regular basis because of all the traffic pollution. Here in the wilds that isn’t an issue [beautiful fresh air all the time unless I’m burning something] and the outside of the panes hardly need cleaning at all.
The inside is a different matter. Once you swipe a wet sponge across a window pane it turns all streaky and messy. It needs to be wiped down several times before it comes up clean. I know damn well the reason for this [and I make no fucking apology to anyone] and it shows up in the rich brown colour of the water in the washing bowl. Pure nicotine!
So this is possibly the mythical Third Hand Smoke? If so, I was regularly plunging my hands in it to rinse the sponge. My hand haven’t fallen off yet. I’m a bit knackered all right but I think that’s more down to lack of sleep and the fact that I have just cleaned 32 window panes [the rest can fucking wait]. Certainly I haven’t suffered any of the myriad of catastrophes that Third Hand Smoke is supposed to cause
I’m wondering what to do with this brown liquid. Apparently it is pure nicotine [according to the Smoking Nazis] so it seems a waste to just chuck it down the plug hole. Should I distil it? Produce a fine Nicotine Brandy? Or maybe dry it out and snort the residue?
I’ll worry about that later.
I’m too knackered now.
Dry it out buy some lard and make nicotine pessaries.
You know where you can stick that idea?
It'd make a good insecticide if you need one for the manor.
Or vitamin B3, otherwise known as Niacin or Nicotinic Acid – see, tobacco IS good for the body!
According to cereal packets of old, Niacin is essential for all growing children. "Contains Niacin" plastered all over the boxes!
Not what you were asking, but the best thing for getting nicotine off windows is diluted ammonia (1tablespoon per litre). Clears the sinuses too
I'm sure that would work. I'm also sure I wouldn't take to the "aroma". Ammonia is lethal…..
Take your nicotine solution and place in a spray bottle. Add a small squirt of washing up liquid. Spray the roses and fruit bushes if you have any, say goodbye to any aphid infestation.
Excellent! It already has washing up liquid in it, so all I have to do is decant it into spray bottles and flog 'em at €10 a shot down in the village. Thanks!!
I tried to give you 5 stars but it refused to submit , just stating field required. What kind of field ?
Heh! Sorry. Just messing around on a live site. Not normally advised? Rating system now removed [for the moment]
Vinegar and newspaper shifts most cak off windows.