The end of civilisation
There is a threat out there but few seem aware of it.
I speak of something far far worse that anything dreamed up in a laboratory in Wuhan in China or indeed in Porton Down. Bird flu is chicken feed and Corona is just watery beer by comparison.
I refer of course to the impending overthrow of humanity by the wheelie bin.
The invasion had humble starts. One by one they started appearing outside people’s houses. No one really took any notice of them. Then they started to multiply and are now reproducing at an alarming rate. I know I started with just one, yet somehow I now have four, lurking in the front garden by the gate watching. That’s what they do – they watch. They are waiting for their time to come.
It was our Penny who alerted me to this danger. She is a very friendly dog and will be all over any knacker who comes in the gate looking to fix my roof or tarmac my driveway. But if the pope himself walked up the lane dragging a wheelie bin behind him, well, the world would be on the lookout for a new pope. She is wise to the ways of the wheelie bin and had the great sense to alert me.
They seem to be programmed or given their orders or something by huge lorries that come thundering up the road. That lorry used to come just once a fortnight but now it is joined by others coming twice a week, which just goes to show the alarming growth of the menace.
They somehow seem to have hypnotised the population into feeding them. They always seem to be full of shit and once the lorries have visited they appear to be hungry again.
So next time you are around the side of your house, or wherever it is that they lurk on your property, just watch them.
Because damn sure they’re watching you.
And waiting.
Black Bins Matter#BLM
There is a short film from 1966, "What on Earth". In it Martians visit Earth and mistake cars for sentient lifeforms. They decide to eliminate the parasites that are always damaging them so they kill all of the humans. Maybe the film got it wrong and they will think the bins are dominate life form. They will still kill the humans.
I must find this film. I wonder if the Martians were all named Ford Prefect.
I thought for a minute you were going to talk about the yellowstone super volcano!
You were probably influenced by this BBC documentary.
https://youtu.be/Sfo53uqn7cE
Here, mid Scotland, the bin lorries are all brand new. Where do old, 3 year old bin lorries go?
The knackered old ones are shipped south to England, where they can't afford any newer ones because of all the subsidies they have to keep sending northwards to prop up Wee Nicola Krankie's personal fiefdom.
It's always amusing to see the huge recycling bins, made out of lots of petrochemical-derived plastics!
Now alerted, I'll watch out for sentient ones.
Has Ireland introduced the RFID chip for its wheelie bins?
I always thought traffic cones were the dominant plastic life form, After all, although smaller, they tend to appear in massive herds which can sometimes appear overnight, and they are clearly more authoritarian than wheelie bins, which for all their faults don't tell you where you can go in your car.
You have definitely been cooped up too long with too much responsibility. Anyway, I can safely state that wheelie bins are not invading the state of Vermont although I don't know about the rest of the nation. A lot of us still haul our trash to the local landfill and those that don't have to supply their own bins (with or without wheels).
I'll state for the record that Vermont is rather unique compared to the rest of the states. Not necessarily better, just unique.