Time gentlemen please — 10 Comments

  1. How many pints of pricey stout makes a substantial meal.

    Four of the stuff, when it was good, and a wee pork pie, used to be a good lunch.

    The good stout served on the West of Scotland, we were led to believe, came from Dublin. The stuff served in Embra was from London, and fit only for the English, with the Edinburghians being considered practically English. They have the manners

    Now it is all nitrogen pressurised pish served in bars that do not know how to store it, look after it and serve it.

    "A pint of the black stuff, Sir certainly sir." Scoosh. " There you go sir, two thirds of a pint of Irish delight. Sorry to keep you waiting, but that nectar needs three seconds to be properly served"

    A little technical aside. Are you familiar with the hole theory of conduction in semi-conductor. The electrons move, one at a time into a "hole" – really an atom or molecule minus its proper number of electrons, leaving behind a molecule minus an electron – a hole. The effect is of holes moving against the flow of the electrons.

    Well I thought that the way the waves of bubbles appeared to be going down in a freshly poured pint of good stout, whereas the bubbles were actually rising was a perfect analogy for the electron flow in a semi-conductor. If I had been a lecturer that is how I would have taught it. The students, each with their own lab demonstration kit would never forget it.

    Good stout. Nothing beats it. But it leads to odoriferous flatulence.

    • I just love the idea of a Guinness transistor, beer and 'chips' sounds perfect.

      Dublin would become the new silicon valley, with factories specialising in LSI (large scale inebriation) springing up along the canal. 

  2. There was a time when I spent a couple of weeks on business in Reading.  The pub near where I was staying had Guinness but hadn't a clue how to pour it.  So I spent my evenings teaching the staff and downing the experiments.  Happy days.

    Indeed, I did electronics at third level so am well familiar with the hole theory.  I never thought of applying it to the pint – direction of travel is opposite to the actual flow.  Clever!

  3. Sounds like the busybodies are getting above themselves.  Pubs have to have a kitchen?   Since when?

    Put the busybodies back in their boxes.


  4. Before I retired, the firm I worked for (or the senior management of the firm I worked for) got religion about Statistical Quality Control.  Every department had to set up 3 control charts, updated weekly, showing how it was improving Quality.  Why 3?  Nobody knew.  I suspect it was because 3 is a small prime number.  Lots of control freakery seems to involve small prime numbers.  9=3**2.  Great.  You get two small prime numbers for the price of one.

  5. Please tell me you're not serious about these new pub regulations. Because what Ireland does today…

    • I forgot to mention an additional condition – on leaving the pub you have to provide the names and addresses of each of the members of your group.

      And I'm not kidding.

  6. You are doing it all wrong. You are not going down to the pub for pint, you are protesting <insert current popular outrage> and demand that authorities stand aside while you do so. Current guidelines in many place in the USA limit gatherings to 10 people, but allow 100 or even 300 for protests. As autocrats seldom have new ideas, I expect most parts of the world have set up similar edicts. I'd advise you to not go as far as looting and arson or the pub owner may not welcome you back again if this crisis ends, assuming the pub survived. 

  7. You’re going to be allowed peanuts or crisps then ,you reckless individual,are you sure you’re up to date with the latest ideology from the health nazis. Best check before setting off. Black pints matter.

    • They have specifically stated that crisps and peanuts do not constitute a meal.  Obviously none of them are drinkers.

      BPM! I like it…

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