On being an Adonis
I went down to the village yesterday.
Unfortunately I wasn’t stopped by The Law as I would have had to tell them I was on my way to pick up drugs. It might have led to some interesting confusion but it just didn’t happen.
So the village as usual was almost deserted. The only real sign of life was a long queue outside the chemist. This was unfortunate as naturally that was where I had to collect my monthly supply of medimications. Bugger! There was nothing for it but to join the queue.
It was a lovely day. It was sunny and warm with hardly a breeze so it was no problem having to stand there a few feet behind the woman in front. I decided to take a relaxed attitude so I sparked up my pipe. It was the new one that I confine to the outdoors or the car, because in the still air of a room the bowl is a bit close to the nose and it needs an air movement to dispel the aromatic fumes.
I was standing there enjoying my puff when the woman in front of me turned and glanced at me. She then did a double take and started staring at me.
Now I’m used to being stared at. I put it down to my ravishingly good looks and handsome stature. So I slowly turned to the left and right just to give her a good look at my amazing profiles. She was quite easy on the eye herself so I didn’t mind. I smiled at her but she just carried on staring. It actually got close to the point where it was a tad unnerving.
Of course, it could have just been my pipe that intrigued her so much.
I’ll never know now.
A thing of beauty.
It looks as if you could take in the smoke in two ways. The usual way through the plumbing and also directly from the bowl, just millimetres from your schnozzle.
No wonder she was impressed.
It does have one inherent flaw – it's a bugger to light. I have to squint ike mad, and am in constant fear of setting my face alight. Apart from that it's a beauty.
A flare up will take care of your nose hairs for a few weeks.
Had you worn a wizard's hat and taken the churchwarden, you could have passed as a film star.
I pass as a film star anyway. Have you seen Brendan Gleeson recently?
This interesting item from Sky Australia its about the only MSM telling the truth ..
That is scary stuff. What's worse is that they will fight tooth and nail to keep those new laws when the crisis is over.
Well thought out bit of kit. Looking at the distance the smoke has to go, he's managed to get about 9 inches between bowl and mouthpiece. In a conventional pipe that'd be problematic; this way it's an elegant solution as well as a conversation piece.
And changing the bowl from your last photo was sensible, the other one looked odd because of the lower overhang.
I notice you've lost some weight, good on you. Mind not too many chapatti.
Nine inches would be about right. Add to that the fact that the vertical bit below the mouthpiece contains a series of cooling fins and the bottom bit unscrews to drip out any condensation and you'll see why I'm such a fan of Elie.
Lost weight? I don't know how you noticed but I checked this morning and I have. Not much though and it was through a lack of trying.
Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha!! Amazing, sir!
Basically, you can’t leave the house for any reason, but if you have to, then you can.
Masks are useless, but maybe you have to wear one, it can save you, it is useless, but maybe it is mandatory as well.
Stores are closed, except those that are open.
You should not go to hospitals unless you have to go there. Same applies to doctors, you should only go there in case of emergency, provided you are not too sick.
This virus is deadly but still not too scary, except that sometimes it actually leads to a global disaster.
Gloves won’t help, but they can still help.
Everyone needs to stay HOME, but it’s important to GO OUT.
There is no shortage of groceries in the supermarket, but there are many things missing when you go there in the evening, but not in the morning. Sometimes.
The virus has no effect on children except those it affects.
Animals are not affected, but there is still a cat that tested positive in Belgium in February when no one had been tested, plus a few tigers here and there…
You will have many symptoms when you are sick, but you can also get sick without symptoms, have symptoms without being sick, or be contagious without having symptoms. Oh, my God.
In order not to get sick, you have to eat well and exercise, but eat whatever you have on hand and it’s better not to go out, well, but no…
It’s better to get some fresh air, but you get looked at very wrong when you get some fresh air, and most importantly, you don’t go to parks or walk. But don’t sit down, except that you can do that now if you are old, but not for too long or if you are pregnant (but not too old).
You can’t go to retirement homes, but you have to take care of the elderly and bring food and medication.
If you are sick, you can’t go out, but you can go to the pharmacy.
You can get restaurant food delivered to the house, which may have been prepared by people who didn’t wear masks or gloves. But you have to have your groceries decontaminated outside for 3 hours. Pizza too?
Every disturbing article or disturbing interview starts with ” I don’t want to trigger panic, but…”
You can’t see your older mother or grandmother, but you can take a taxi and meet an older taxi driver.
You can walk around with a friend but not with your family if they don’t live under the same roof.
You are safe if you maintain the appropriate social distance, but you can’t go out with friends or strangers at the safe social distance.
The virus remains active on different surfaces for two hours, no, four, no, six, no, we didn’t say hours, maybe days? But it takes a damp environment. Oh no, not necessarily.
The virus stays in the air – well no, or yes, maybe, especially in a closed room, in one hour a sick person can infect ten, so if it falls, all our children were already infected at school before it was closed. But remember, if you stay at the recommended social distance, however in certain circumstances you should maintain a greater distance, which, studies show, the virus can travel further, maybe.
We count the number of deaths but we don’t know how many people are infected as we have only tested so far those who were “almost dead” to find out if that’s what they will die of…
We have no treatment, except that there may be one that apparently is not dangerous unless you take too much (which is the case with all medications). Orange man bad.
We should stay locked up until the virus disappears, but it will only disappear if we achieve collective immunity, so when it circulates… but we must no longer be locked up for that?
That is one of the funniest [and most accurate] things I have read in ages. Brilliant!
Nice pipe, decent profile–have you shortened your beard?