I received a letter yesterday.
It was a summons.
I am to report [subject to the provisions of the Jury Act 1976] for jury duty at Skobieville Court on the 24th of March at 10 am.
10 am? Are they fucking kidding me? That would mean getting up at some ungodly hour in the morning which is not right for any man nor beast.
Mind you, the thought does appeal. I can see myself finding any little scut guilty just because I don’t like the look of him. The real icing on the cake would be to sit on a case where Son-in-Law was involved – “Guilty Yer Honour and a recommended minimum sentence of life”. I suppose they wouldn’t let me sit on one of his cases though.
The reality though would be more a case of dragging myself out of bed, having terrible trouble finding parking only to find I wasn’t required. A pain in the hole. So I am playing the exemption card. If I’m over 65 I can excuse myself without any further reason.
There are advantages to being a pensioner.
In the afternoon I went to renew my driving licence. It meant a grand spin up the motorway where I happily played with my cruise control. I arrived to find four or five people ahead of me all sitting playing with their smart phones. I looked around and noticed a screen on the wall with a keyboard. I investigated and found it was a sort of log-in system to simplify queueing. I entered my name and sat down. My name was called next because the other people hadn’t noticed the system. There was a rush for the screen!
So they took photos of me and took samples of my signature. Everything fine. Licence will arrive in the post next week. She gave me a receipt which was strange as I hadn’t paid anything. I queried this and she smiled sweetly and told me it was free.
Another advantage of old age!