Droning on and on
What is it about drones?
For a long time I have been inundated with spam trying to persuade me to buy a drone.
I have little interest in them. If I had one and decided to abide by the law I could only fly it over the Manor and then only to the height of a couple of hundred feet or so. What the fuck use is that? Google Earth can give me a reasonable idea of what my gaff looks like from the air. I’m more interested in what the place looks like from ground level, and I don’t have much interest in that either.
They try to tell me that I can capture all my amazing adventures, presumably to bore the arse off people on YouTube. What fucking adventures? Most of mine are behind me and I can’t imagine any pending visits to Machu Picchu. I actually investigated one of the machines they were pushing at me, using a Google search [I NEVER click on spam links] and it turned out that their machine was a rip-off of a better model that had a cheaper price-tag so they could go fuck themselves anyway.
There is only one good thing about those drone spams. They make a change from the Ashley Madison ones, the cure for Tinnitus that doctors don’t want me to know about and the ones that promise to make Herself scream all night.
I can manage that last one all on my own, thanks.
Don't tell us
Don't tell you what?
How you manage to make her scream all night.
There are various ways, but the simplest is to hang a large toy spider from the bedroom ceiling.
How would that compare with using a real large spider?
I would probably be done for murder.
The only way I would get a drone if it came with the capacity to hold tiny poison dart stingers that were remotely controlled and were small enough and quiet enough, certain persons I'd be flying the drone over would think it was a mere insect bite from above and not even bother to look up to realize their time is short. If it did that, then I would consider getting one.
Yes, indeed that would have potential. Just so long as its range is sufficient to reach government buildings.
When I read that last line I literally snorted coffee out of my nose! Love you Grandad and glad you're feeling better and haven't lost your skepticism, eye for irony, or sense of humor! Herself must be one happy lady!
She doesn't appreciate me at all.
I think you should definately buy a drone. I'd give you one week before you're in the Daily Mail
I'll search the Deep/Dark Web to see if there any for sale with Stinger Missiles.
The Yanks have them with flamethrowers…
I link to a YouTube video of a drone fitted with a mini machine gun but I'm sure you can find them on your own. Personally I could think of a couple of things to do with a drone but I'm bit too old for prison.
Think of the money you’d save on care home fees.