Yesterday I thought I heard kids playing next door.

Now the next door house was for sale and there are two agent’s signboards out on the road, one saying the house is for sale and the other saying that sale is agreed, so I don’t know which one to believe. They are both by the same agent and both refer to the one house so it’s a little confusing.

So the kids may have been just visiting or they may be the new occupants [presumably with an adult or two].

Anyhows, this got me thinking. Suppose the new owners have kids [whether or not they are the ones I heard], sooner or later I am going to come across them across the back garden fence. Sooner or later they are going to realise this house has a cat and a dog, and are going to want their names.

Penny is no problem. I am well used to telling people her name as strangers all go gooey over her all the time and want to know all about her.

Cat is a different kettle of fish [or cats] however. If kids ask her name I have a bit of a problem. You see, she was apparently called Malone before we got her. I do not like that name. It doesn’t suit her at all and I refuse to use the name. So I called her Cat [which I think is far more appropriate].

However as water flowed under the bridge, the name I called her changed very subtly. Now whenever I see her I call her by the new name – Fuckoffcat. She answers to her new name, which is more that can be said about her original one. Every time she yowls at me [a few dozen times a day] I just call her name and she fucks off.

So when I am asked her name, what name do I give? Malone? No. That’s out. Cat? Or Fuckoffcat?

I am tempted to go with the latter. It would lift my heart to hear little children gleefully calling “Here Fuckoffcat” every time they see her in the garden.

I doubt the parents would be too happy though?