I have survived my first week of torture.
I am a bit surprised at this, as I had never even entered a gym before and have a distaste for any exercise with is non-productive. A brisk walk to the pub is fine. Repeatedly raising a weight [how heavy is a pint of Guinness?] is grand. But cycling frantically without even moving an inch seems pointless.
Last Monday, when I started, there were eight of us. On Wednesday there were five. Yesterday there were three. This course seems to have an incredibly high mortality rate? But then when you take the victim of a coronary and force him into an exercise that raises his pulse rate into the high hundreds it isn’t too surprising. I wonder if there is some kind of prize for the last man standing. A job as an apprentice with Alan Sugar?
On another note, I have noticed some distinct side effects from my “episode”.
I think I mentioned before about the bleeding? One scratch and the blood just pumps out like water. That can be quite messy, especially after a session in the garden.
Then there is the bruising. Huge multicolour bruises appear without any apparent cause. I caught my shoulder on a door during a moment of absent-mindedness and the whole upper arm now looks like The Aurora Borealis. I have little bruises on my hands and legs too and no memory of the knocks that caused them.
The main one though is the cold. Herself is a fierce one for feeling the cold. She would have the central heating on ten months a year. I on the other hand had an almost total immunity to temperature and would grudgingly use the heating for two months a year. That has changed. The first sign was my fingers turning blue and numb. When I was helping Herself through some manoeuvre she would scream that my hands were like ice. I had to take her word for it as I couldn’t feel them.
Now I have to wear sweaters all the time and will soon have to switch to my Winter gear. Our oil bill will probably go through the roof, with the only consolation being that I am helping to warm the planet.
Our oil bill though will probably give me a heart attack.