Our Great Gubmint has gotten itself into a bit of a quandary.
Great sums are being spent on forcing us to give up smoking, to force us to drink less and even to force us to eat less. This is all in the name of Health with the ultimate goal of making us all live longer.
There is however a flaw in the plan. Making us all live longer has a totally unforeseen side effect that no one could have predicted – if we live longer, then we grow old.
Of course one solution would be to make everyone very healthy, work hard to make taxes for the gubmint and then for everyone to be marched into the gas chambers on reaching the age of sixty five. I am quite sure they have considered this but they probably realise that it may not be so Politically Correct and have probably shelved the idea for a generation or two.
There is an alternative which they may not have considered.
I would suggest that they remove all taxes on alcohol, tobacco and food. Smoking should not only be compulsory but should be subsidised in order to get us all to smoke as much as possible. We can all become obese alcoholics and chain smokers.
Everyone will die young.
Just think of it – everyone will pay into their pension funds and pay taxes but then will die at least ten years younger. No more pensions to pay out, and all those lovely pension funds can be used for vanity projects and lavish lifestyles for our Lords and Masters.
Being a true patriot, I am going to do my best. I promise to smoke more, double my whiskey quota for the night and shall have at least six Mars bars a day.
I will probably die fifteen years ago.
But I know my duty.