I have been a full time carer for quite a while now.

It requires a few disciplines.  I am cook, clothes washer [but not ironing – there are limits], doctor, nurse, cleaner, driver, physiotherapist, psychiatrist, handyman, confidante, plumber, electrician and a few others that escape me at the moment.

Now I’m not complaining for an instant but let’s just say that it involves a lot.

Then along comes Stevie [II].

Jayzus but if I had that abomination in the house I’d freak out.  Within five minutes [or less] I’d want to punch its lights out.  The fucking yoke wouldn’t be able to do half the things on the list anyway.  The only thing it would be excellent for is annoying the hell out of me.

I suppose there could be some fun involved, like persuading it to push a bare wire into a power socket or asking it to calculate the complete value of pi but the bastards who designed it probably wouldn’t allow it to be tripped up like that.

I don’t think I have ever seen such a creepy yoke.

The idea that someone would think it a great idea to have that freak of electronics look after me would just make me want to reach for Dignitas‘ phone number.

If I want company I’ll stick with the dog.

Thanks very much.