Things have been quiet here at the Manor.
Mainly because I haven’t been here.
Monday was a bit of a disaster. As I may have mentioned, I called in to visit Herself in hospital in the expectations of finding her with a new knee. Two minutes after I arrived they whisked her off to the theatre, so I only had a brief chance to tell her to break a leg. She wasn’t amused.
I had been told that the operation takes about forty minutes so rather than drive home and all the way back again I decided to wait. A big mistake.
After four hours of drinking coffee I was suffering from extreme caffeine overload and was in danger of being admitted as a Parkinson’s patient, so I went to enquire where the fuck she was. A cheerful Oriental bloke [99% of the staff seem to be foreign] told me that she was “in recovery” and was likely to be there for a good while yet. What the cunts hadn’t told me was that there was about an hour or so of preparation before the forty minute operation, followed by several hours of x-rays [to be sure they hadn’t left anything inside] and recovery.
I went home.
On Tuesday I went in to visit. That was a bit better because at least she was there. Also my visit coincided with the physiotherapist so I could sit back and watch the pain. Karma got it’s revenge though as I got stuck in a traffic jamb on the motorway that was about eight miles long. There was no reason for the blockage – it just happened for no apparent reason. As I said – Karma.
Today I dropped in and with a stroke of luck the physiotherapist was there again [a lovely girl, and she’s Irish]. I explained that I was to be her therapist when she got home so I was given lessons in how to inflict maximum pain on a new knee-joint. I also got to raid a load of chocolates.
Of course the end of my visit coincided with the rush hour so I got stuck on the fucking motorway again. I would have taken the back roads but I had to drop by Skobieville on the way so there was no alternative. The only thing to do was to sit waiting for the traffic to inch forward. I have become an expert at waiting.
Fuckit. I’m taking tomorrow off.