I think you all know me fairly well by now.
You re all aware of my placid nature and how difficult it is to annoy me? I am a pool of tranquillity and little ruffles my surface.
Lately however I have become the victim of another scam. Or rather I have become the target, as I never let them get far enough to actually achieve anything.
The phone rings. It’s a local number that I don’t recognise but it could be some long lost friend or a solicitor telling me I have inherited a fortune from some relative I never knew I had. Anyways I answer the phone.
After a pause, a recorded voice tells me they are from “eir connect” or some such, and that my Internet connection has been compromised. Apparently they are to disconnect me within 24 hours and could I please press 1 to speak to an agent.
Now I may be an old duffer but I know a little bit about Internet connections and for the life of me I know of no way that an Internet connection can be compromised. It either works, or it doesn’t. If they said my in-house wireless had been compromised I might give them some credence, but they have no way of monitoring it so that’s out. If my IP address was compromised then it’s simply a matter of rebooting my router to grab a different IP. There is no need to threaten me with disconnection. One way or another, I am not going to play their little game, so I hang up.
For the uninitiated, I assume the purpose of these calls is to get me to install some bit of software or something whereupon they can grab all my personal information, or else infect my laptop and then charge me a fortune to disinfect it again.
I have had quite a few of these calls to date. Certainly it is several days since the first call and my Internet connection is still loud and clear. Mostly they are in the afternoon but today they crossed the line. A phone call at nine in the morning is a fuck off phone call. It wakes the house and that is guaranteed to really boil my piss. To make matters worse, they tried again at ten.
They are trying my patience. I am tempted to press that 1 the next time they call and let fly with as much invective as I can muster.
You see – under that tranquil surface I can be a right bastard if the circumstances call for it.