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A whale of a time

Head Rambles Posted on by

There was an item in the news recently about a dead whale.

Dead whale had 115 plastic cups and two flip-flops in stomach.

Of course this was newsworthy because of … well… I’m not quite sure.  A whale died as whales [and indeed any living thing] tend to do after a while.  However, for a reason that completely escapes me, we are supposed to feel all gooey and sentimental when a whale dies.  Now I had ever been formally introduced to this particular whale so you will excuse me if I don’t burst into tears.

Have you ever noticed that whenever all these eco-freaks start on about some animal being destroyed by man, it’s always something cute and cuddly they talk about such as Koalas, Polar Bears or Pandas or indeed Whales?  They never mention things like Leeches, Hornet Wasps or some bacterium or other.  Maybe they should try cuddling a Polar Bear sometime to see how cute it really is?

Anyways, back to the whale.

This news item was a winner because it not only involved a whale [which is hardly cute and cuddly but it seems to be an eco-favourite for some reason] but it involved plastic.  And we all know that plastic is the tobacco of the eco-warriors.  Plastic is evil and must be banned immediately, if not before.

This whale had obviously been on a plastic binge and according to them had 115 plastic cups, four plastic bottles, 25 plastic bags, two flip-flops, a nylon sack and more than 1,000 other plastic pieces in its stomach.  I have to ask who counted these items?  The whale was too far gone for a post mortem so I would imagine that the atmosphere around it was fairly ripe, yet someone had the time to do an inventory?

So how did those items get into the oceans?  Did the Indonesians hold beach parties where they all brought their waste to the local shore to chuck it into the sea?  I doubt it.  My money would be on two things – they probably just dump lorry loads into “land fill sites” which in fact are the sea shore or else the plastic is dumped from passing ships en route from Europe to China which is far more likely. Either way it has fuck all to do with us.  Blame the Indonesians or the ships’ captains.

But this incident will somehow light fires in Europe calling for further bans on plastics on our side of the planet.  Already they are on about Q-tips and plastic straws while completely overlooking the amount of plastic used in food packaging and just about anything else you can think of.  We will doubtless have to suffer laws that leave is with drinking cups that melt when you put something wet in them or glass bottles [which incidentally are a good idea].

Personally I am pretty indifferent to plastic.  It has its uses and it can be irritating in its ubiquity but it does have its uses.  And when I am finished with it I bung it in the recycle bin [because I am a Good Little Boy] which should please the eco-warriors but apparently doesn’t.  What I do object to is the inevitable raft of laws that invariably are just a sop to “saving the planet”.

And all because a dead whale washed up in Indonesia.



 

Comments

A whale of a time — 11 Comments

  1. Remember the dead albatross with plastic in its carcase which the loons said was evidence of killer plastic well turns out it kills many an albatross, though the singular ‘plastic collection’ does seem to do rounds a bit. This mammalian example sounds like a re-run. Upping the ante so too speak again a la ASH.

    If anyone was serious about this then we would never hear from them or see any of their pictures or movies as they would no longer use plastic at all. They could put an annoncement out on ‘social media’ and then fall silent as evidence that they carried out their intent.

    Two eco warriors the Moonbat and Rob Transition Hopkins are ‘speaking tonite’. George has gone to Newcastle and Rob to Paris. Both went on fossil fuel burning machines loaded with plastics and toxins and admittedly I am guessing here but I’ll lay odds that both venues are fully loaded with plastic and probably heated by burning gas thus producing yet more carbon dioxide to destroy the thing they tell every bugger else has to be saved from mankind devilry. Is wankers too strong a descriptor?

  3. The two plastic flip flops – they were only found because the legs and feet had digested quicker. Here’s a thought – if whales are eating so much plastic they must be shitting it out again by the ton – I mean, any animal with a 6 foot dick has to be taking shits big enough to fill a dump truck. Anybody mentioned plastic whale shit? Thought not.

    • Maybe they are being eco-friendly, wrapping their shit in plastic and dropping it into a deep trench somewhere?  The ultimate recycle.

  4. Don’t whales exude ambergris?  It’s an oily, waxy, flammable substance, highly valued in the perfume industry – my suspicion is that this precious vomit is actually the processed plastic which Orca had ingested as a vegan alternative to eating more meat-based Jonahs every day.   Thus proving that more plastic in the sea is a life-saver for humankind.

    (The Jonah story must be true, the incontrovertible evidence is in the bible).

     

     

  7. I imagine a diet of plankton is pretty monotonous, so perhaps Moby fancied a graze on that continent-sized pile of plastic we’re told to feel guilty about (but that has mysteriously never been photographed).

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