In the course of my travels yesterday I came across a little spat.

At first I thought someone had posted a wind-up and the whole thing was a bit of a laugh.  But then I realised they were serious.

Yes Folks, the debate was about Bert’s and Ernie’s sexual orientation!  You know Bert and Ernie?  They are puppets!  They are pieces of cloth, presumably with someone’s hand up inside them.  They do not have sexual preferences and in fact do not have any sex, mentally, physically or any otherwise.

Seriously though … anyone who looks at a puppet and starts wondering about said puppet’s gender is in dangerous need of a visit to a nice cosy institution with nice soft walls and a personal assistant who wears a white coat.  I don’t even care if that person is the one who invented the puppet – he still badly needs treatment, probably involving little paddles and a LOT of electricity.

What next?  Is there to be a debate as to whether Sponge Bob is in fact a transgender who was originally Sea Urchin Roberta?  Is Superman a closet [or telephone box] transvestite?  I would dearly love to hear a debate about Bill and Ben the Flowerpot Men!

Why stop at fictional characters?  Is the Eiffel Tower little more than a gigantic phallus symbolising a male dominated world?  Is the Grand Canyon the world’s biggest vagina?

Fucking insane!

Time for a large whiskey.