I think I mentioned a while ago that I had set myself a little challenge.
It was a simple enough task – to screw the gubmint for every cent I could get out of them.
If they has been decent and had spent my taxes wisely I might have taken a different course but seeing as they were intent on pissing it all against a wall, I decided that I was damn well going to be part of that wall.
My task started in earnest a couple of years ago. I had my company pension but decided to apply for a state pension too. Fuck them, but I had paid into the bloody thing albeit many many moons ago.
The form filling was endless and providing all the various proofs they required was tricky to say the least, as the records had to go back to the 70s, but I got there in the end. I got my state pension and the payment goes in every Friday.
Then I applied for free travel on rail bus and ferry services. I got that but have only used it a couple of times.
The next move was to get a Doctor’s Card to give me free GP visits. Now someone really fucked up here. Either I filled out the wrong form or it got sent to the wrong department but I ended up with a full Medical Card which not only entitles me free GP visits but dirt cheap medications as well. That saved an arm and a leg and opened up the door to more claims.
I was doing well so I decided to go for a Carer’s Allowance. That was sort of dependant on having the above lot [and someone to care for I suppose] so I thought I was in with a chance. Tons more form filling and getting details from banks yet again. I more or less forgot about that one after a while. I knew I was pushing things but what the hell? But last month I got a letter from them to say that I have the allowance, with back pay. That now goes in every Thursday.
I was beginning to scrape the barrel at this point but I decided to go for a fuel allowance. And – sure why not? – a free television licence as well.
I got that letter last week, confirming I now have a monthly rebate on my electricity bill. Oh, and the letter included a free television licence for life.
I think that is about it. I could go for some home renovations where I am now entitled to all sorts of grants [available to anyone who has all of the above] but I don’t like the thought of the mess.
I have to trawl the interwebs now to see if there are any other little hidden gems. They hide them well and make them as difficult and as time consuming to find and fill out as possible. Applications require endless listening to crappy messages and tacky music on the phones along with the endless form filling. None of it can be done on-line.
It’s worth the effort though.