Immortality is apparently the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.
Unfortunately most of us fail to achieve this goal by inconveniently dying.
Now those who subscribe to the Church of Health believe that there is only one cause of death and that is Cancer. Avoid that little bugger and you’ll live forever. They seem to overlook the simple fact that cancer is primarily a disease of old age, so the longer you live, the greater the risk. So by avoiding cancer and living to a ripe old age is just increasing your chances of getting it. A nice little Catch 22?
The latest is a report from the World Cancer Research Fund [never heard of ’em but I bet our taxes pay them] who have produced what they consider to be the ultimate recipe for avoiding The Big C.
They even give us an interactive map of all the things to avoid to ensure an infinite lifespan.
One of the items that increases my risk hit me immediately – being tall. I really must do something about that? But what? Have my legs amputated?
Now I could go through the list [which is actually quite an amusing exercise] but fundamentally what they are saying is that the only way I can avoid cancer is to live in the Mediterranean and drink rainwater. And I have to run around a lot.
I notice that being breast-fed is a good thing so maybe my Mediterranean life should include a nubile young lactating Italian girl?
Screen-time figures prominently which is a nasty trap on their part. They give us a little toy to play with on our computers and having spent a couple of hours playing with it, discovering all the nasties in life, they suddenly tell us we are likely to get cancer from playing with it. I call that devious.
The bottom line seems to be that everything gives us cancer. But seeing as they are unsure as to exactly what causes cancer in the first place, they could well be right.
There were a couple of omissions that surprised me. They make no mention of radiation, from nuclear accidents, bomb tests or even from natural radiation such as Radon. There is no suggestion that we should steer well clear of roads and cities where there is a high concentration of exhaust fumes and other lovely gasses.
And I couldn’t find a mention of smoking.
Maybe they think that’s safe after all?