How to achieve immortality
Immortality is apparently the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.
Unfortunately most of us fail to achieve this goal by inconveniently dying.
Now those who subscribe to the Church of Health believe that there is only one cause of death and that is Cancer. Avoid that little bugger and you’ll live forever. They seem to overlook the simple fact that cancer is primarily a disease of old age, so the longer you live, the greater the risk. So by avoiding cancer and living to a ripe old age is just increasing your chances of getting it. A nice little Catch 22?
The latest is a report from the World Cancer Research Fund [never heard of ’em but I bet our taxes pay them] who have produced what they consider to be the ultimate recipe for avoiding The Big C.
They even give us an interactive map of all the things to avoid to ensure an infinite lifespan.
One of the items that increases my risk hit me immediately – being tall. I really must do something about that? But what? Have my legs amputated?
Now I could go through the list [which is actually quite an amusing exercise] but fundamentally what they are saying is that the only way I can avoid cancer is to live in the Mediterranean and drink rainwater. And I have to run around a lot.
I notice that being breast-fed is a good thing so maybe my Mediterranean life should include a nubile young lactating Italian girl?
Screen-time figures prominently which is a nasty trap on their part. They give us a little toy to play with on our computers and having spent a couple of hours playing with it, discovering all the nasties in life, they suddenly tell us we are likely to get cancer from playing with it. I call that devious.
The bottom line seems to be that everything gives us cancer. But seeing as they are unsure as to exactly what causes cancer in the first place, they could well be right.
There were a couple of omissions that surprised me. They make no mention of radiation, from nuclear accidents, bomb tests or even from natural radiation such as Radon. There is no suggestion that we should steer well clear of roads and cities where there is a high concentration of exhaust fumes and other lovely gasses.
And I couldn’t find a mention of smoking.
Maybe they think that’s safe after all?
Fuckwits.
Does the administrative state of Ireland have an equivalent of the administrative state of United Kingdoms Cancer Act 1939?
I have no idea. It wouldn’t surprise me. A lot of our laws date back to Victorian times before we became independent.
What a bunch of maroons! Apparently like you Grandad, I got my skin cancer and prostate cancer because I’m over 50yo and because I’m tall. Geez what a bunch of unscientific mumbo jumbo
Don’t forget – these fuckwits are the ones influencing the lawmakers. How did the world come to this?
Screen time seems as dangerous as arsenic!
Life is as dangerous as arsenic. Every single one of us is doomed as we are all infected with Life – the world’s deadliest non-communicable disease.
Life gives you cancer.It’s similar to corrosion in a car-body, the steel components will get it eventually, some sooner than others: sometimes a bit of treatment, e.g. welding, can gain some extended use but eventually the tin-worm will become too serious and the bodywork will succumb. If you crash and destroy the car, then you avoid that inevitable future body-rot problem, but at what price. What about fibre-glass cars, I hear you say? Well they’ve all got steel chassis components, so even they don’t escape.If nothing else kills a human earlier, the body-rot will eventually do the job. Living a righteous life won’t mean you’ll live forever – as my wise old dad used to say, “If you don’t drink, don’t smoke and don’t go with mucky women, you won’t live any longer, it will just feel like it”.
Can you just imagine the frustration – you live a soulless life avoiding anything that may cause cancer only to discover you are going to die anyway? It’s a bit like living in a strict monastery only to discover there’s no afterlife.
World Cancer Research Fund You remember them surely, the people who threatened us with death by bacon. ‘Ban bacon’ say cancer experts2007″The World Cancer Research Fund study found strong evidence that eating red meat and processed meats such as pastrami, salami, and frankfurters can cause bowel cancer.””It also found a direct link between obesity and alcohol intake and the likelihood of falling victim to cancer.Survey chair Sir Michael Marmot, professor of epidemiology and public health at University College London, was surprised at these findings.””He said: “We have known about obesity and overweight in relation to cardio-vascular disease and diabetes. The idea that it is strongly linked to cancer, I think, is relatively new.”He also suggested the direct link between increased weight and increased cancer risk was even stronger than the link between cigarettes and cancer:”With smoking, we know that if you smoke you increase your risk, but most smokers in the end don’t get cancer, so it’s not a one-to-one relation,” he explained.”https://www.express.co.uk/news/uk/23812/Ban-bacon-say-cancer-experts I don’t think I’ll ever forget.