Hey There,

What?  When the fuck did “Hey There” become a greeting to a stranger?  “Dear Sir” would have been the appropriate greeting, particularly as you want something off me.  Or do you think we are somehow bosom pals already?

This is a quick email about a supplemental resource that discusses the details and risks of a grandparent cosigning on a private student loan for a grandkid.

What a fascinating subject to liven up my day.

I think this could be a helpful addition to your site.

Here’s the resource: https: {very firmly redacted}/

Does my site need “helpful additions”?  You can think away all you like but I think my site is fine as it is.

Would you consider including this resource on your website? We put a lot of effort into making this article helpful and educational. It could benefit grandparents who may be looking into cosigning on student loans for their grandkids. Let me know what you think.

I don’t give a flying fuck how much effort you put into it.  I didn’t ask you to write it, so I’m not going to shed any tears on your behalf.  And if there are any grandparents reading this who are daft enough to lend money to their grandkids then I am sure this is the last place they would come to for advice.

If you have questions, I’d be happy to hop on a call and discuss.

Regards,
Andrew Rombach

“Hop on a call”??  What the fuck?  I have heard some pretty inane uses of the language but that one pushes things to a new level.  “Hop on your bike and fuck off” would be more appropriate.

–oOo–

Dear Mr Rombach,

I would suggest you approach your unfortunate grandparents for a loan in order that you can complete your primary education.

Yours sincerely,

Grandad