Our gubmint seems to be terribly confused.
Last month they proposed a scheme whereby contraceptives are free for all. Of course “free” means “paid for out of taxes” and I don’t see why I should pay for kids to shag each other’s brains out, but at the time I let it go.
Then of course we have the ongoing tedious saga of the abortion referendum. In other words, if the free contraceptives don’t work then there is always the final solution.
Now they want people to have kids left right and centre. I presume they are worried that there aren’t enough kids growing up into nice little tax creators. An elite does need its workforce to keep it supplied after all?
Anyways, their latest little wheeze, a mere month after the “free” contraceptives is to give a little “free” gift package to each newborn baby. For fuck’s sake! This is apparently “aimed at increasing birth rates to counteract the increasing economic demands posed by the country’s ageing population“. Is it any wonder the country is so badly run? And they blame the old folk as usual. It’s all my fault.
Can you imagine the scene though?
Bridie: Jayzus Paddy will yiz get me pregnant!
Paddy: For fuck’s sake Bridie. Are yiz mad? We’re living in the car because we lost the house to the banks. I’m working on minimum wage and we’re broke. There is no fucking way we are having any kids.
Bridie: Ah go on. Ride me now.
Paddy: Why in God’s name?
Bridie: I want one of them free boxes!
So the country is now going to go bonking mad, spewing out little rugrats just so they can get their free gift? I can see that working. Or there again, maybe there are enough nutcases around to fall for it?
Or maybe the gubmint isn’t so daft after all.
Maybe all the free prophylactics will all be neatly perforated?