Coffee is the new tobacco
A judge in California is insisting that cancer warnings be placed on all servings of coffee.
Oh dear. That will put the feline amongst our avian friends?
I am a bit baffled by this new “coffee culture”. In my day there was black coffee, or if you put a drop of milk in it it became a white coffee. Unambiguous and simple. Now you go into a café and the menu for coffees is usually longer than the menu for food. There are all these mochas, cappuccinos, lattes, americanos, skinny lattes, espressos and a host of others. What the fuck is all that about?
I saw an advertisement recently where a shop in the area wanted to hire a “coffee barista”. I had to look it up. Apparently it’s someone whose sole function is to serve coffee. I even discovered a Barista School that hands out certificates! Are they seriously saying that you need a fucking school were you learn how to make a cup of coffee? Give me strength! God be with the days when, if you asked for coffee they’d stick a spoon of Nescafé powder in a cup and pour in boiling water.
I can imagine the Mammies will be proud. They can now brag to their friends [at a coffee morning?] that their offspring is a qualified barista, and hope that the friends will think she said barrister?
There is a whole new “culture” now. Fucking coffee shops are everywhere and it is almost compulsory to be seen in them. You score extra points for demanding a variation that the “barista” hasn’t come across before. And of course it is mandatory to carry a great big paper cup in the street at all times.
I’m not a great one for coffee. I enjoy a mug down in the village but that’s more a social thing than a love for the stuff. I used to ask just for a “large black” but now they just ask me if I want my usual. That’s the way the world should be – nice and simple. I do have a machine in the house but it’s mainly for visitors, and I get loads of compliments. My menu is short and sweet – black, white or frothy white.
So how this “coffee culture” is going to cope with dirty great cancer warnings is anyone’s guess. I imagine that a lot of members of the “coffee culture” are also card carrying members of the Church of Health so it is going to cause a lot of anguish and grief, not to mention a lot of confusion.
Do I hear howls of anguish in the air?
Yes, mine. Jesus wept, but why don’t they just bang a sticker “(possibly) carcinogenic” on just absolutely everything and have done with it?
The Church of Health is becoming more tiresome by the minute …
DANGER! LIFE IS CARCINOGENIC.
They probably have some ludicrous study which consumed oodles of taxpayers’ money: said study (and money which kept mad scientists in comfort for quite some time) resulted in the observation that if some hapless rodent were forced to consume the human equivalent of 95 gallons per day of Nescafé for a long period, they just might develop something unpleasant.
As long as mad scientists presume correlation is causation, that is.
A pox on them all and a plague on all their houses.
To be honest about it, I’m well past the point of not recognizing a thing about the world today or should I say, the societies residing on it? Including my own country–especially my own country. I can also honestly say that I’m almost glad to be in the last decade or so of my life as I doubt I could tolerate all this ludicrous crap that qualifies for headlines these days (too many to list so I won’t bother).
Wonder what other nonsense tomorrow will bring?
“Do I hear howls of anguish in the air?” Yes, Mine. I happen to like coffee, I’m very fussy about it. ‘Instant’ isn’t real coffee by the way, it’s just bitter, caffeinated hot water with the wrong flavourings. My coffee, and the stuff I serve my guests is fresh, burr ground Italian roast Columbian beans which produces a smooth, rich and muscular flavour. Italian is best, Lavazza red for preference.
The difference between ‘instant coffee’ and what I habitually drink is like between battery acid and fine wine. There is a world between them, and I don’t call the bitter crap Starbucks brew ‘good’ either.
The only good thing such ‘cancer warnings’ might do is frighten all the mummies with prams out of the coffee shops to allow more civilised folk some foot room.
I have a jar of instant coffee somewhere, but it’s probably solidified and growing mould at this stage. I use ground coffee and occasionally try different brands. I have a small selection, but whatever the brand, I still brew black with a dash of milk – none of that Americano shit in this house.
As for the warnings – I ignore the lot. People must be nervous wrecks if they heed them all.
What are you doing writing on here. I thought everyone in Eire was spending all day in the pub today to celebrate Good Friday opening?
Jayzus but do you think I’m an alcoholic or something? I do come up for air sometimes.
I have to agree with Bill Sticker. I am a coffee snob. I drink a free trade organic coffee from Ache in northern Sumatra. I also will change it up occasionally with a yurgacheffe from Ethiopia. I have found that I dislike coffees from South America. I also dislike the whole mocha toka latte ya-Yas I like a good cup of coffee in the morning. A black coffee.
I have no problem with the range of beans available. It’s much like tobacco – loads of different brands and tastes. It’s all this mess of ways to serve coffee that annoys me. Herself likes Cappuccino or Latte when we are out and I wince every time I have to order them. She gets standard black with a dash of milk at home, though occasionally I’ll froth up the milk if I’m in the mood.
You know those online outfits that print names n shit on hi-viz vests well why not pop along and get a couple printed up with ‘Causes Cancer’ and wear them when out and about?
Worth a giggle or would someone find it offensive and report the wearer to the local stasi via twatter?
Tired of all these ‘this is bad don’t do/eat/hear/smoke/drink/ it’ doom and gloom warnings pushed out of the arse end of vested interests and yet in my version of ‘real life’ not media hysteria few folks mention these warnings so one wonders what their true purpose is, the warnings I mean.
The message –
___________ CAUSES CANCER!
[fill in the item of the day]
Even if the driver is unconscious or unable to make the call, perhaps due to injuries, a minimum set of data is sent, which includes the exact location of the crash site.
What could possibly go wrong?
What is a ‘minimum set of data’? Smoker/non smoker must be there somewhere.
If the emergency services turn up wearing hazmat suits then you’ll know that information on smoking is included.
I’m not worried. The chances of my ever driving a ’18 car are pretty slim to put it mildly. I’m still only up to ’03.
Now it all makes sense, when Mrs M asked for a “large black” so I introduced her to Leroy, she’d really only wanted a coffee. Suspect she’s still quite happy with Leroy though . . . .