They said we were going to have occasional snow showers.
I got up this morning to see a complete white-out. I couldn’t see the far hedge for horizontal snow blasting across the landscape. It’s still at it, non-stop which is a bit long for a “shower”? It’s alternating between big fuck-off flakes to fine powdery stuff and it is sticking to everything. Once more, branches are weighed down and the daffydowndillies, which has only just recovered from the last onslaught have been buried again.
They declared one of their colour codes last night on the weather forecast. It’s Code Yellow for today. I checked this morning and apparently in the early hours we have been upgraded to Code Orange. Wow! Be still my beating heart!
I still haven’t a clue what these colours are supposed to mean. I gather that Code Red means we have to go out and buy every last loaf of bread on the shelves but does Orange or Yellow mean we only have to buy a couple of loaves? Either way I’m not venturing out today as I happen to have enough bread and Herself can do without her fags [it is Code Orange, after all?]
I checked, and apparently Code Orange means we have to “prepare ourselves in an appropriate way for the anticipated conditions“. Seeing as the alert was issued at three this morning when we’re all supposedly asleep, it doesn’t give much time for preparation. I’m not even sure what preparation is required. Are we so fucking dim that we need to be told to keep our windows closed and the heating turned up?
And what does preparing “in an appropriate way” mean? How does one prepare in an inappropriate way? Does it mean we have to cover all our dangly bits when dressing? Does it mean no touching? Does it mean that a slip of the tongue may lay us open to a charge of inappropriate behaviour? They don’t explain that bit.
The cat has been driving me mad. She just sat at the door and yowled at me as if it were my fault that the world has turned white again. In the end I just fucked her out for the sake of a bit of peace.
She’s just come in again. She had a lovely cap of snow on her and has trailed it all across the carpet. She is not a happy cat.
She’s a snow cat.