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The dangers of yellow snow

Head Rambles Posted on by

They said we were going to have occasional snow showers.

Wrong again!

I got up this morning to see a complete white-out.  I couldn’t see the far hedge for horizontal snow blasting across the landscape.  It’s still at it, non-stop which is a bit long for a “shower”?  It’s alternating between big fuck-off flakes to fine powdery stuff and it is sticking to everything.  Once more, branches are weighed down and the daffydowndillies, which has only just recovered from the last onslaught have been buried again.

They declared one of their colour codes last night on the weather forecast.  It’s Code Yellow for today.  I checked this morning and apparently in the early hours we have been upgraded to Code Orange.  Wow!  Be still my beating heart!

I still haven’t a clue what these colours are supposed to mean.  I gather that Code Red means we have to go out and buy every last loaf of bread on the shelves but does Orange or Yellow mean we only have to buy a couple of loaves?  Either way I’m not venturing out today as I happen to have enough bread and Herself can do without her fags [it is Code Orange, after all?]

I checked, and apparently Code Orange means we have to “prepare ourselves in an appropriate way for the anticipated conditions“.  Seeing as the alert was issued at three this morning when we’re all supposedly asleep, it doesn’t give much time for preparation.  I’m not even sure what preparation is required.  Are we so fucking dim that we need to be told to keep our windows closed and the heating turned up?

And what does preparing “in an appropriate way” mean?  How does one prepare in an inappropriate way?  Does it mean we have to cover all our dangly bits when dressing?  Does it mean no touching?  Does it mean that a slip of the tongue may lay us open to a charge of inappropriate behaviour?  They don’t explain that bit.

The cat has been driving me mad.  She just sat at the door and yowled at me as if it were my fault that the world has turned white again.  In the end I just fucked her out for the sake of a bit of peace.

She’s just come in again.  She had a lovely cap of snow on her and has trailed it all across the carpet.  She is not a happy cat.

She’s a snow cat.

 

Comments

The dangers of yellow snow — 23 Comments

    • That is uncannily accurate!  Of all the cats in the world, Simon’s one is my favourite.  😀

  2. “In an appropriate way” describes the method of preparation, not the preparation itself. (That would be “appropriately”)  So it probably means “prepare calmly, without panicking or killing anyone”

    • But what am I supposed to prepare?  Do I fill the bath with water?  Do I build a shelter in the basement?  Or does it just mean I should bring indoors any delicate pot plants?

      • Nah! That will ruin the pot! Trust me, I know. My late cat always smirked when I tried that one.

        (And, no, she didn’t die of low-flying objects. She reached the methusalem-age of 21, low-flying objects or not. ;-))

  4. Well apparently, appropriate means, don’t smoke under any circumstances, consume alcohol wisely or not at all, bet sensibly, never drink and drive, obey all laws, don’t use offensive language, no misogyny, no racist comments, pay all your taxes, do what the Government says and respect women and minorities. If you are that appropriate, the blizzard won’t affect you!

  5. My attempt to reply to your reply didn’t work.  I agree with you.  An invitation to take appropriate action without specifying what that action might be is useless.

    • That’s what happens when our would be leaders feel compelled to tell us what to do, even though they don’t know themselves.  At least they can claim they warned us…

  6. “The dangers of yellow snow”

    Once more the post title had me thinking of something completely different…

  7. Sounds like Vermont’s version of occasional flurries. By the way, it was -29C this early morning at my place, the snow is a couple of feet deep around the yard and daffodils are still sleeping soundly and will be for at least another month.

    So, not to worry, yes?

  8. Grandad, you’re 68?!? FFS! There should be a LAW forbidding OAPS from using the intrawebz…haven’t you got a mug of ovaltine that needs your attention? 😛

    • What age did you think I was?  You must know I am reasonably old because I know my grammar and am reasonably proficient in spelling?

  9. Grandad, please send some white stuff to me, it was 40C in Sydney yesterday and it is supposed to be “Autumn” down here!

    I can beat your snow warnings, down here as you would know we get a lot of bushfires, even in and around the major cities. We used to have a warning system that described the bushfire risk as low, moderate, high and very high; now however we have a new warning of “Catastrophic”! This is now used for just about everything, if there is a bit of a gale blowing up it is now catastrophic high winds etc. etc., drives me insane, everything is now reported as the end of civilization as we know it and then when it just turns out to be a nasty storm or some smaller local fires the media just sort of forgets about it all.

    • I would dearly love to but there are a couple of logistical problems.  I doubt I could afford the postage on a couple of tons of snow, and also you would just end up with an extremely soggy cardboard box.  It would possibly melt crossing the equator?

      You can send me a few degrees though as you apparently have some to spare?

    • Ah!  You got the reference.  She’s useless at clearing pathways through snow though.

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