I had forgotten the day that’s in it until I looked at the papers this morning.

There was the Paddywhackery in all its glory.

So today is St Patrick’s Day, or in the local vernacular, Paddy’s Day.  The day when the whole world suddenly wants to be Irish for some reason that totally escapes me.  People dress up in green and wear big floppy hats presumably because they think that in doing so they are being typically Irish.  They greet each other with “begorrah” and “bejyzus” again under the assumption that this is a typical Irish greeting.  Interestingly enough in my sixty eight years of living in Ireland I have never ever heard either term used in speech other than in American films and in an ironic lampooning of the perception of being Irish.

I can only assume that the perception of Ireland come from films such as The Quiet Man and listening to Barry Fitzgerald?  What amuses me is that I can bet with absolute surety that the vast majority of foreigners who claim to be “Irish” don’t even know where Ireland is.

I hear tell that someone is objecting to the name St Patrick’s Day?  Apparently it’s not “inclusive” enough as it might “offend” someone who doesn’t believe in saints.  Now personally I don’t give a shite what the day is called [though I do draw the line at “Patty’s Day” which seems to be exclusively confined to incredibly dim witted American women].  I would object though to the dropping of the Saint bit, not because I am Catholic [I’m not] or that I believe in saints [I don’t] but purely because anyone who is offended by such trivialities deserves to be offended.

You may think I am being somewhat cynical and mean minded about the whole affair?  Nah!  I have nothing against people enjoying themselves.  If you want to go watch a parade and freeze your balls off then fair play to you.  If you want to drink green beer or drown yourself in Guinness then that’s grand.

When you wake up in the gutter tomorrow morning surrounded by puke and half eaten kebabs you may not feel too Irish though?