I was in the toilet yesterday doing what people generally do in toilets.
I heard a very liquid sound.
Now you may say that when people do what they’re meant to do in toilets it’s usually accompanied by a liquid sound, unless of course they’re sniffing coke. However this wasn’t your usual flood of satisfaction: it was more a series of very frequent drips and splashing noises. Fuck!
I opened the hot press / airing cupboard or whatever the hell you want to call it and there was my central heating refinery, where there all sorts of pipes, cylinders, pumps, valves, dials, electrical timers, thermostats, switches and the like, and it was not all only wringing wet, but more water was positively cascading in from the roof above. Bollox!
I had this problem before, a couple of years ago where a piece of timber failed. I should explain that this isn’t a simple leak in a roof where you replace a tile or put a patch in the felt or even replace a sheet of corrugated iron. No, this is a really complex thing involving a water tank on a flat roof and a supposedly waterproof box covering the tank. I did a temporary fix the last time it happened and that has worked ever since. Until now.
I suppose I had better ratchet up the emergency level for the fix from Sometime to Critical?
The job will involve removing the covering box and the water tank. Probably half the piping will have to be replaced too. Then after the new tank is installed a casing will have to be built which has to be completely waterproof and sealed into the surrounding roof. It also has to have a lid that can open and which also has to be rain proof. During all that work the roof and the hot press / airing cupboard or whatever the hell you want to call it will be open to the elements so if it rains – I’m fucked. It is also going to be bloody expensive.
On a lighter note [pun intended], there are five recessed spotlights in the attic where I installed Herself. Four of those weren’t working so it was fairly dim up there in the evening. Herself didn’t complain because they’ve been like that for years and she’s used to it. Yesterday I went an bought five replacement bits and installed them. The attic is now brighter than Wembley Stadium on match night. Last night Herself took to wearing sun glasses.
Total cost of replacement?
Now that’s more like it!