I was sitting here a couple of days ago when a call came in on my mobile.
It was a UK number so it had to be either a relative or a wrong number, so I answered it cheerfully.
There was a bloke on the other end and he had an accent so thick you couldn’t scrape it off a slice of toast. It took several goes to just ascertain that he had my name correct, but I persevered just out of curiosity. Everything he said I had to ask him to repeat several times. By my reckoning he was only about a week off the boat from Pakistan and I just couldn’t understand a word he said. I don’t know which us us was getting more annoyed. I never discovered what he wanted because in the end, frustration got the better of me. I told him to fuck off and hung up.
Daughter and younger Grandson were here at the time and listening to the one sided conversation. Naturally they were keen to know what the call was about. So out of deference to young minds I didn’t say ‘Fucking Paki with an accent so fucking thick I couldn’t understand him’. What I actually said was ‘Fucking cunt of Indian sub-continental origin with an accent so fucking thick I couldn’t understand him’. One has to be so careful to be Politically Correct in front of small ears these days?
This morning I was woken at the ungodly hour of half nine by my mobile ringing. I was expecting a call so I promptly answered but was still asleep. I grunted. He was another fucking foreigner but at least I could understand him and when he confirmed my name I assumed it was important, though I was still bemused by how he came by my number. He was calling about a domain name I had registered for a friend of a friend [of a friend] a couple of days ago. Maybe he was offering to buy it off me for several thousand quid? But no. He was from some fucking web design company and wanted to know what I intended doing with the site. I told him I hadn’t yet decided whether to build a block of apartments on it or grow hash and I hung up.
Later on this morning I fired up my laptop. No sooner had I fired up my email than I was inundated with emails, mostly from India, offering me web design, search engine optimisation and how to make vast some of imaginary money out of my new domain.
So this is what now happens when you register a domain. You get spammed left right and centre. I have just this instant had a spam text on my mobile offering me a logo design service.
Next time I register a domain I’m changing my details.
I’m now toying with who annoys me the most.
I’ll use their mobile number and email address.