There is a football match this evening here in Ireland.
I know this because the entire country is supposed to watch it with the implication that if I don’t, I am somehow being unpatriotic. Needless to say I will not be watching it. Not only will I not be watching it but frankly I don’t give a flying shite about it.
Life has more or less been suspended here for the last couple of days while everyone talks about the match. Last night there was a current affairs programme which is normally very good, However they dedicated virtually the entire programme to fucking football We had a sports commentator and an aged relic of a footballer and they talked about the wonderful successes in the past and we were supposed to choke back tears of joy. They analysed tonight’s match to within an inch of its life and to listen to them you would swear that the future of civilisation was at stake.
It’ a fucking game, for fucks sake! It’s a bunch of prima donnas kicking a lump of plastic around a field. It is tedious and it is boring.and is about as exciting as a new brand of lipstick. Apparently it will determine whether Ireland qualifies for the World Cup. Who fucking cares?
I hope they win, because I don’t like to piss on people’s parades. It will make a lot of people happy and I suppose that’s a good thing.
I hope they lose, otherwise we are going to have more of these frenetic periods until they do eventually lose. Football would be rammed down our necks at every opportunity.
One thing that puzzled me was this word “coybig” that is cropping up everywhere the match is mentioned. I had to look it up in the end. Apparently it’s an acronym – “come on you boys in green”. [Sigh]
What shall I do tonight?
I could watch paint dry? I could pop a few blackheads? I could throw frozen peas at the cat?
Actually the latter sounds like fun.
It’s more fun than football at any rate.