In Memoriam — 9 Comments

  1. I also always find it a good strategy to be especially friendly and cheerful towards those who are anything but. Throws them without fail each and every time. 😉

  2. I’ve always maintained that being kind to your enemies really pisses them off because they thrive on hate.

    • ‘Kind’?  No.  Firmly polite yet always smiling at your tormentor in passing like you know something they don’t, yes.  Drives them crazy guessing.

  3. Aye, be unfailingly nice, cheerful and friendly to enemies. Puts them on guard, you see, because they assume that everyone else is a vindictive arsehole like they are, and anyone happy and seemingly very pleased to see them must therefore be in the process of enacting a horrible revenge.

    At this point, paranoia takes over and they get all worried about what this horrible revenge might be, and worried that their intimidation tactics aren’t working, and worried that if they step matters up a bit they’ll land themselves in the smelly. Oh, but the life of the unpleasant bastard is one long path of worry and woe!


  4. It started off as a simple determination to show I wasn’t afraid of the fucker.  When I realised how uncomfortable it made him, I racked it up to being positively cheerful in his presence.  In fact I was probably more pleasant to him than to anyone else.  Even I got a bit nauseated at my good cheer.  At least now I can return to my normal self….

  5. Here we see the cultural divide between our nations; An English gentleman will always be the most charming and polite to those he detests the most. It’s genetic.  More than once in our life here I have had to inform The Bestes Frau In The Entire Universe that *insert name of some Britisher* was neither friendly nor polite but actually being rude enough towards her that had I been there they would have gotten a smack in the gob. Phrases like “You foreigners are so clever”.

    Mind you it works the other way round too; I can recall my then young German wife responding to an elderly British woman’s “Oh my son is in Germany in the RAF” with a look of total shock but from her sweet German lips came nothing but “Oh really, how interesting” (one of those ‘Survive In The UK’ Phrases I taught her before we left Germany along with “You must let me have the recipe”).

    • You reminded me of the book “How to be an Alien” by George Mikes, which attempts to explain stuff like that. As Wikipedia (the free encyclopedia that anyone can edit) says:

      “deals with important English topics as the weather, tea, how not to be clever (since it is considered bad manners), how to compromise, and queueing (according to Mikes, the national passion). The chapter entitled “Sex” is in its entirety as follows.

      Continental people have sex lives: the English have hot water bottles.”

      • Actually that very book was the basis for those lessons on ‘How to Survive in the yUK’ I gave my freshly minted wife before we visited the UK for the first time to show off Fruit Of Loins1 to his adoring Grandparents. Written some 70 years ago if I recall aright and still very apposite.

        *goes back to Mdsched-ing a computer …and NO Grandad, I can’t install ‘nix on it!  *

  6. I will admit to having the same reaction to the news that a total bum-wipe had been chosen by the grim reaper.

    I even fired off a couple of emails to friends who shared my opinion of him – and their responses cheered me no end.

    What was done went back many years and said bum-wipe most likely had forgotten, or couldn’t give two hoots.

    However I have a firm belief in divine justice. Just a universal sort of thing, nothing religious. So the more people who celebrate your death the better. My fervent hope was that he be reborn as a chow dog in Korea.

    Of course I have very similar feelings toward all the parasites in tobacco control, though I have a somewhat more fitting fate I’ll wish on certain key players.

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