The one thing above all else that I hated about my working days was the commute.
I hated the endless traffic jams, the endless traffic lights and of course the idiot drivers.
Nearly every day since I left the shackles of employment behind me I have revelled in the lack of commuting. I sneer at rainy days. I laugh at icy roads. I delight in the kids going back to school. In fact I just thrill at not having to put up with all those little events that would forecast an hour or two starting at the back windscreen of the car in front. Some days I even listen to the traffic reports on radio to cheer myself up.
Today I had to go into Dublin. Coincidentally it wasn’t that far from my old place of work. The downside was that I had to be there bang in the middle of the fucking rush hour.
Nothing has changed.
Fifteen or so years on and it’s the same old people playing the same old tricks, causing the same old confusion and getting my piss up to boiling pint. Only the cars are newer and the drivers look a lot younger but they have to be the same idiots I used to be lumbered with.
There is the same Twat who has to stare at the traffic lights after they have turned green, waiting to see if they get any greener.
Then there is Twat’s brother who stops in a queue which is fair enough, but when the queue starts moving again he sits and stares at the receding traffic presumably in the fear that the car in front of him will suddenly slam into reverse at any moment. Mind you, that’s not as improbable as it may sound knowing rush hour drivers.
There is my old friend Flasher. He who decides to change lanes and works on the assumption that switching on his indicator light will somehow miraculously create a vacant space in the adjacent lane, which doesn’t in reality exist and causes much screeching of brakes and blaring of horns.
Hopper was still there too. He is still under the illusion that the other lane is always faster than his present one so will spend his time switching lanes backwards and forwards, backwards and forwards and eventually proving himself right when my lane moves faster than his and I overtake him.
They were all there, all causing the same old chaos and near misses. It was like being back on the old familiar territory.
I’m back home now.
I shall listen to this afternoon’s traffic reports with glee!